I hate UPS!

UPS sucks ass!

I ordered some shirts from cafepress.com, very cute cancer shirts. My sister, my niece and I were going to wear them to our end of summer bbq in honor of my mom finishing her radiation treatment.

Two days ago the shipment was set to arrive today.

Today as of 4 pm, no shipment.

Checked the tracking number, UPS rescheduled the shipment to arrive next week. Not early next week...LATE next week. How do you go from arrive on one Friday to arriving the next Friday!

I am so mad. I had all this stuff planned for the bbq to really celebrate the end of this ordeal. And now, it is all shot to shit.

We will still toast the end. I will still give her the Tiffany earrings I bought. But I won't have the shirt for her..."I beat cancer and all I got was this lousy T-shirt".

My 9-year-old niece won't have on her "my grandma kicked cancer's butt" shirt.

My sister won't have her "my mom is my hero" shirt.

While the shirt will still be cute, they won't have the punch as they would when we walked out with the chapagne wearing them.

I send UPS an angry email. And I will never use UPS again!

My new shipper of choice those guys in the yellow trucks...now if I could only remember the company name.

I survived!

I survived the first day of school...YAY ME!

It wasn't easy at some points. I have 45 kids in each of my English 10 classes. That's a lot.

The period 4, lunch, mixed class thing was a colossal mess! Administration made an announcement that the 9th graders were to go to lunch and the uppers to go to period 4. My 9th grade period 4 students were never told to come to class. They came in after the 9th grade lunch and then got a second lunch at the end of that period because I wasn't about to give up my lunch.

It was a mess, but it should be better tomorrow. I hope!

The Advanced Drama kids were funny. And already out of control. Doing Oedipus is really going to be a shocker for them. I hope they like it.

It's going to be a great year!

let the chaos begin

Tomorrow morning bright and early I will begin to prepare for the rush of students who will come into my room seaking their class locator cards. Lucky for me I have the letter "D" (the "G", "L", "M", and "N" people have it rough).

I am SO not ready for school to start. But, is going to start ready or not.

The school isn't even really ready.

This year we have jumped on the Freshman Year restructuring band wagon. It is all good in theory to put 9th graders in houses. I even agree with a lot of the data, but man has our school really created a FUBAR situation.

For example, the freshman have a separate lunch(with a different bell schedule), part of which is designed to enable them to attend mandatory tutoring if they have a "D" or and "F". They will not eat with the upper classes. Now, here is the rub, I teach beginning drama period 4, I have freshmen in period 4, freshmen lunch is during period 4, my drama students need to be outside to rehearse during period 4. Do you see the problems yet? think...

If you guessed, freshmen can't go to lunch during their class, that the class can't rehearse outside because it campus is full of freshmen you have guessed correct.

I sought adminstrative guidance on how to deal with these problems. Here are the answers...

1. These freshmen will eat with the upper classes.
2. My drama class will rehearse in the theatre and the grassy area in front of the school.

I'm fine with this. But doesn't the freshmen eating lunch with the upperclassmen defeat the purpose of separating them from the upperclassmen in the first place?

I'm so confused.

one sleepy girl...

After the incident on Sunday, and drinking way too much wine and staying up way too late I had to report to work on Monday morning.

If we taught our classes the way they ran our first staff meeting we would all be fired. It was awful. One data rich/information poor powerpoint after another. Much of it stuff that we have been told before. It really was painful.

Then I had to drag my sorry ass to the Dave Matthews Band concert at the Hollywood Bowl. I didn't even know if I liked DMB, but I apprently do. I had a great time, although I was very, very, very tired. He puts on one hell of a good show.

Now, I am up and running, ready for the next set of meetings and some classroom prep time. I can't beleive I will have students on Thursday!

YIKES!

I have a lot to do.

Where did the summer go?

ARGH!!!

Ok, I know I have named several posts the same thing, but damn, I'm angry.

M and I got into an argument tonight.

I don't feel like I have done anything wrong.

I don't feel like he has done anything wrong.

We just don't see eye to eye.

He is complaining that I dont' want him to hang with my friends.

He is complaining about friends who I don't see very often.

Is it wrong of me to want to spend a little bit of time with them before I bring him into to the mix. Just to get the connection flowing again?

For example, I have a friend, a friend who has gone through a MAJOR life change (long story, really not my place to tell). and I have seen her 4 times in the past 2 - 3 years. He is upset because I haven't made a point of setting up a time for them to meet. Keep in mind that while we love each other, we don't make a huge effort to see each other.

My feeling is, we don't spend that much time together to begin with, if you get to meet her great. If not, she must not be that important. (d0n't get me wrong, I love this girl, but we aren't that close).

Am I making sense or has the wine taken over (the wine that I will regret tomorrow morning has I have to get up and start work after 2 months off).

It's not that I don't want him to meet her, it's that she and I don't spend that much time together to begin with. Why get upset about it?

Am I being stupid or his he being a nutty boy?

There's a second story, I'll make it short. I have a friend. A really good friend. We had a falling out and have recently gotten reconnected. I wanted the first few times (exact number - 3), we got together to be about she and I restarting our friendship. He is upset that he hasn't been invited out on these outtings. Mind out one of them was a bachelortte party for a friend of my friends, who I met once, and he was working.

The more I think about it, the more I think he just doesn't trust me when I am out with my friends, Maybe he needs a good ass kicking. Maybe I'm just crazy....

I hate feeling like this. It make me drink a lot of wine, and I mean A LOT of wine. and then I feel crapy the next day as well.

What are your humble opinions? I promis not to get mad. (at least not too mad).

Am I crazy, or is he just being very posessive.

Mother of the Year

Mother of the Year

In a zoo in California, a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set oftriplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in thepregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their tiny size,they died shortly after birth.The mother tiger after recovering from the delivery, suddenly startedto decline in health, although physically she was fine. Theveterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into adepression. The doctors decided that if the tigress could surrogateanother mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing news was that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce tothe mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something tha thad never been tried in a zoo environment. Sometimes a mother of onespecies will take on the care of a different species. The only orphans"that could be found quickly, were a litter of weaner pigs. The zookeepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed thebabies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops??Take a look........ you won't believe your eyes!!








"When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way,
You command the attention of the world"

Training

So, I have the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer coming up in 3 weeks. I was very excited about the training when it all started, but then I had the unfortunate incident with the ladder and had to stop walking. That is where my motivation train was derailed.

I haven't really trained all summer! Don't ask what I did all summer, although I know I was busy with travel and family issues, I really don't know where the summer went.

Realizing that the walk is 3 weeks away I have started training. Small for now, 2-3 miles a day. That is until today...I got less than a half mile away from the house and my ankle was screaming with pain. Not the usual shin pain that I just work through, this was my ankle and I have no wordly idea why. I turned around and figured if it still hurt really bad when I hit my street I would just go home, but hopefully it would stop and I could continue my walk in the other direction. I was hard pressed to make it to my house.

The pain is starting to ease. But I'm concerned...how the hell am I going to be able to walk 40 miles in two days with three weeks of training? Am I being delusional? Do you think it's possible that I will be able to get enough training in to make it? I think I have between 8 and 10 hours to finish the first day (26 miles), maybe longer. Or did the lack of motivation after I was released to walk again doom my efforts?

I figure I will try to walk again later today when it starts to cool down and see how the ankle feels. I was really looking forward to the 3 miles today (kind of scarey, huh?)

Hey, if you want to donate to my walk fund log on to www.avonwalk.org and look up participant number 661411. You donation would do so much to help those suffering with Breast Cancer as well as help to find a cure.

interesting stuff

Found this through Chatty's blog and found it just too interesting not to post here.

I'd just link to the article, except I don't know how, but here is the website http://www.beloit.edu/~pubaff/mindset/


BELOIT COLLEGE'S MINDSET LIST® FOR THE CLASS OF 2010

Members of the class of 2010, entering college this fall, were mostly born in 1988. For them: Billy Carter, Lucille Ball, Gilda Radner, Billy Martin, Andy Gibb, and Secretariat have always been dead.

1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.

2. They have known only two presidents.

3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.

4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.

5. They have grown up getting lost in "big boxes."

6. There has always been only one Germany.

7. They have never heard anyone actually "ring it up" on a cash register.

8. They are wireless, yet always connected.

9. A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their
parents'.

10. Thanks to pervasive headphones in the back seat, parents have always been able to speak freely in the front.

11. A coffee has always taken longer to make than a milkshake.

12. Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.

13. Faux fur has always been a necessary element of style.

14. The Moral Majority has never needed an organization.

15. They have never had to distinguish between the St. Louis Cardinals baseball and football
teams.

16. DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.

17. They grew up pushing their own miniature shopping carts in the supermarket.

18. They grew up with and have outgrown faxing as a means of communication.

19. "Google" has always been a verb.

20. Text messaging is their email.

21. Milli Vanilli has never had anything to say.

22. Mr. Rogers, not Walter Cronkite, has always been the most trusted man in America.

23. Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards and snail mail to retail items.

24. Madden has always been a game, not a Superbowl-winning coach.

25. Phantom of the Opera has always been on Broadway.

26. "Boogers" candy has always been a favorite for grossing out parents.

27. There has never been a "skyhook" in the NBA.

28. Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents' attics.

29. Computerized player pianos have always been tinkling in the lobby.

30. Non-denominational mega-churches have always been the fastest growing religious
organizations in the U.S.

31. They grew up in mini-vans.

32. Reality shows have always been on television.

33. They have no idea why we needed to ask "...can we all get along?"

34. They have always known that "In the criminal justice system the people have been
represented by two separate yet equally important groups."

35. Young women's fashions have never been concerned with where the waist is.

36. They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.

37. Brides have always worn white for a first, second, or third wedding.

38. Being techno-savvy has always been inversely proportional to age.

39. "So" as in "Sooooo New York," has always been a drawn-out adjective modifying a proper
noun, which in turn modifies something else

40. Affluent troubled teens in Southern California have always been the subjects of television
series.

41. They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.

42. Ken Burns has always been producing very long documentaries on PBS.

43. They are not aware that "flock of seagulls hair" has nothing to do with birds flying into it.

44. Retin-A has always made America look less wrinkled.

45. Green tea has always been marketed for health purposes.

46. Public school officials have always had the right to censor school newspapers.

47. Small white holiday lights have always been in style.

48. Most of them never had the chance to eat bad airline food.

49. They have always been searching for "Waldo."

50. The really rich have regularly expressed exuberance with outlandish birthday parties.

51. Michael Moore has always been showing up uninvited.

52. They never played the game of state license plates in the car.

53. They have always preferred going out in groups as opposed to dating.

54. There have always been live organ donors.

55. They have always had access to their own credit cards.

56. They have never put their money in a "Savings & Loan."

57. Sara Lee has always made underwear.

58. Bad behavior has always been getting captured on amateur videos.

59. Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.

60. They never saw Bernard Shaw on CNN.

61. Beach volleyball has always been a recognized sport.

62. Acura, Lexus, and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.

63. Television stations have never concluded the broadcast day with the national anthem.

64. LoJack transmitters have always been finding lost cars.

65. Diane Sawyer has always been live in Prime Time.

66. Dolphin-free canned tuna has always been on sale.

67. Disposable contact lenses have always been available.

68. "Outing" has always been a threat.

69. Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss has always been the perfect graduation gift.

70. They have always "dissed" what they don't like.

71. The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.

72. Richard M. Daley has always been the Mayor of Chicago.

73. They grew up with virtual pets to feed, water, and play games with, lest they die.

74. Ringo Starr has always been clean and sober.

75. Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.

Cheers!

Kyle I hope you had a very happy birthday...Here's to many, many more!

Now, I'm off to have a glass of wine in your honor!

have you met...

Have you met Miss Abby Cadabby?


After something like 30 years Sesame Street has created a new character. She is a preschooler named Abby Cadabby, she is the daughter of a fairy godmother and is a fairy in training. She moves on to the "Street" and is filled with wonder at her new world.

I am so excited, I can't wait to catch an episode of Sesame Street and hopefully get to see her. This is so big NPR interviewed her! Now that's big!

wine

This is an area in my living room. This does not include the box in the hall closet or the wine in the two different wine racks.


Yes, I like my wine.

MEN!

The man who is doing my refinance is an idiot! Why this man thinks I will sign the title documents without knowing the following is beyond me...

1. What type of loan is it?
2. What is the interest rate?
3. What will my payment be?
4. Why the hell is it for almost twice what I owe on the house?

Now, I may be blonde, I may not understand all the finance crap, but I do know not to sign a document involving money when I don't have all the answers.

And to make it worse...this guy is a friend of mine! Some friend!

no....I don't wanna go.....

Yikes, only one week left before I have to head back to school! Not that I don't love my job, not that I don't love my students, not that I don't love directing plays...I just don't wanna go back yet.

I feel like this summer has been a whirl-wind of a ride. Between lots of travel (not all of it fun), a death in the family, and the dentist visit from hell, it seems like I haven't done anything productive.

I still need to buy clothes to start the year, finish planning theatre for first quarter, start planning for my new 10th graders, do my background work on the two fall productions, read stuff for the musical, and my room, let's not even talk about the state of my classroom. I stuck my head in today while at a meeting...wholey cow! The custodians waxed my floor, fab! They have not put the desks/tables back down on th floor, they are still on my stage. I can't do anything! But I love my newly waxed floor!

I suppose I shouldn't be here rambling...I should be getting ready for the real estate appraiser to come on Friday. With the state my house is in, he won't get past the front door! GRRR!

Camping

We had the opportunity to go camping this week. If you have never camped at the beach I highly recommend it. M and I took his youngest daughter, B, with us to camp with my aunt, cousin, nieces and my BIL. We had a great time.

It is a sort of family tradition to camp at Carpenteria State Beach (when we can actually get a site). The beach is nice and we can walk in to town for dinner, which is what we did all three nights. I mean why cook when you can have margaritas at Cabos and pizza at Rusty's.

The kids all got along so well. Playing in the surf and sand, doing skits and singing WAY too many camp songs. I took this as a good sign. B normally doesn't go to many of my family functions, so she really doesn't know the kids. But to watch her fit in so well with my family was really nice.

After three days in the sand and dirt we came home and I immediately started getting ready for the school year. It was nice to get in one last trip before the end of summer.

What was your last adventure?

and people ask why

I am tired of hearing people ask why we are fighting a war against terrorism. I am tired of people bashing our president. I am tired of hearing people bad mouth our military personnel.

Too often people forget that we have to fight for what we have. We can't take it for granted.

This was sent to me today as a reminder of how important it is to never forget. We are lucky to live in this country. With our freedoms, where we can make choices, where we can make a better life for ourselves.

Don't ever forget that there are those who would like to take those things away.

http://www.olivetreeviews.org/topics/movies/attack.html

shopping success?

Well, I found some pants. I won't post a picture of them. They are pretty standard black pants.

I also found shoes that will work. They are not the absolutely fab black strapy heals I was hoping for, but there is always tomorrow. And at least I don't have the stress.

So, picture these...

With this...

With a pair of black pants.

What do you think?

blah, blah, blah

Is it wrong to not want to give my darling BF my blog? There is something that tells me to not let him read it. Keep it (relatively) private. I don't know why it's so important to him to see it. And if I show it to him, can I still rant about him when he pisses me off?

How can one person own so much crap? As I look around my house I can not believe I have so much stuff. How did I ever live with someone? I have enough stuff to fill my two bedroom house and the garage. How does that happen?

Why am I going to my 20 year reunion? I didn't like most ot the people I went to school with. They didn't seem to like me. My real friends were in other grades. And my real friends now didn't go to high school with me. I must just really be a glutton for punishment to want to go back to those times.

Why is it noon and I am still still in my bathrobe and towel when I should be dressed and out looking for the perfect pants to wear to the reunion. I found the perfect top, just need pants and maybe a splurge on some really cool strappy black heals.

where or where has my mojo gone...

oh, where oh where could it be. I have the table set up, the tools out, pictures printed, paper selected, ebelishments available, and I can't get going. I want to get my China scrapbook done by Friday (come on, it's do-able, it will only have 300 pictures in it).

I like the way the front page turned out, but can't get it together beyond that. I started with a plan. I even went as far as punching out all the letters for the titles and running them through the sticker machine. Then I added a third color to the book, now some of the titles won't work in the color I punched. Now, I suppose I could just punch them again in the other color, but that would be wasteful. And with as much money has I have been spending I don't want to waste paper or sticker stuff. I could lay all the pages out the same, then the letters would work. But is that boring? It would make the process go by A LOT faster. But then do I look uncreative? ARGH!!!! Why do I like this hobby? It makes me crazy, it has come so far with so much "stuff" I don't feel free to create, I feel paralized by the "stuff." HELP!!!

Here is the cover page, what do you think? Excuse the quality, my scanner would work for the size, so I took a picture.

Revenge taken a step too far

About a week ago I stumbled onto a blog by a woman who was seeking revenge on her cheating husband (I am sure many of you have read her blog, if you haven't I'm not passing it on).

It started out kind of fun and entertaining, but then got down right mean and nasty. I feel for the woman. Her life was torn apart. But to seek revenge to the degree that she did is a bit unacceptable in my book. She went as far as doing a couple of things that I believe are illegal. She pulled the in-laws into the mix, that is where I started to not feel so bad for this lady. The in-laws didn't have anything to do with the husband's cheating ways. Why hurt them? She got co-workers and clients involved by sending them emails in the husband's name. Why get these innocent people involved?

She just got so carried away and hurtful that it went from funny to downright scary.

In life we all hurt our share of people we love and who love us. Sometimes it's intentional, most of the time it's not. I just hope that we are all more forgiving/understanding/willing to let it go than this woman was.

Not saying she needs to forgive him. Take him to cleaners in divorce court (I don't think she lives in a "no-fault" state). But don't drag the world into your rage. You need to take out some revenge...go ahead...but know where to draw the line.

She definitely did not know where to draw the line.

Some more on China

Okay, I know I'm giving you China in tiny bits at a time...but there's a lot to tell. Like, after visiting China I will never, and I mean NEVER, complain about a public rest room again (and that includes beach bathrooms, and those who visit the beach often know what I mean).

The public rest rooms in China have got to be the worst on the planet. If there are worse one's I don't think I want to visit there.

First off they use these funky squat toilets.

Not too big of a deal, except for the few days following the Great Wall. I had trouble getting off a chair, so squatting was out. There was usually one "western" toilet in each public "toilet" (yes, they don't have rest rooms, they gave toilets).

Second, most of the time there wasn't any paper provided. So, I spent a lot of time rolling mini-rolls in my hotel rooms (which, thankfully, had western style toilets).

Third, the sinks were usually in a little area between the men's and women's. Not that I mind sharing, but (fourth problem) the stench was enough to kill an elephant. I really don't think they ever clean them. There was one that looked nice, but the smell wafted out about 40 - 50 feet from the entrance. I thought I was going to pass out, but had no choice, the next chance would be 2-3 hours later.

This really was my only issue with China. Like I said before...I had a great time! I recommend it to anyone...In fact if your interested I could hook you up with the travel group I went with. It's a great deal, and big ole' bucket of fun.

Note: the picture was taken in a restaurant...just as this lovely Chinese woman walked in.

how rude

When I set up a meeting or appointment with someone I show up on time, and usually at least 1o minutes early. I expect to wait those 10 minutes, I don't expect to be seen early (but if you can great). I don't even expect to be seen right at the appointed time, I don't mind waiting a few minutes.

What I hate is when I show up, the receptionist has to track the person I'm supposed to meet down. When found he/she is at another meeting, away from the office and will be another 30 - 40 minutes. I especially hate this when the last time I met with the same person he was 30 minutes late.

Want to know what makes it worse...When I come back an hour later and this person still isn't in the office and hasn't bothered to call me or the receptionist to tell me I should just head home because he isn't going to make it back. All this should be happening with extreme amounts of groveling for forgiveness because I had to drive 30 minutes to get to the office and now have to fight traffic all the way home without having accomplished a thing.

It's even worse when 2 hours after the appointed meeting time, I still haven't gotten a phone call explaining to me WHY I HAD TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO HIS OFFICE FOR NOTHING~

Maybe I need to find someone else to do my refi?

Rock Star

Last summer I was absolutely glued to the TV for Rock Star: INXS. I mean I would get upset if M expected me to miss a night. This year...not so much. I really find the talent lacking. There are a few perks to watching, Dave Navarro and Tommy Lee, but other than that...whatever.

The Great Wall

On my first full day in China one of the many things we did was visit the Great Wall. This was one of the highlights of the trip. To walk on a structure that was built before the US existed was so amazing. And to think of the fact that they didn't have the technology available today...WOW!

The climb was a bit difficult. The steps were very rustic and did not follow a standard rise/tread pattern. So you might have several normal size steps then one huge step. This really wasn't a problem on the way up...but on the way down, whoa! The grade of the climb was also very steep, again not bad going up, very scary going down.

If given the chance I would totally climb the wall again. In fact if we would have had more time, I would have climbed higher. I may not have made it to the top, but I can say that I made it high enough to be considered a hero, according to our guide, Richard.

The views from the wall were spectacular! I could not believe how green China is. It is greatly attributed to the humidity. And let me tell you, was it humid.




The tower we climbed to is just below the one you see in the center top. They kind of blend together.







Here is a picture of the group of us who actually made it to this level. If we look drippy it's because we just climb a bucket load of stairs in 90 degree weather with at least 90% humidity. We were drippy, but it was so worth it.

in the great sceme of things

I think mom trumps daughter in the realm of funeral. Today was R's funeral and although the service was nice there were some things just plain PISSED ME OFF. First, K (R's daughter) didn't tell the minister officiating that there were two sons! Second, she didn't tell the minister there was a fiance! My family was so offended, at first M told me not to say anything to the minster (he knows how I can be when it comes to my mom), but when other people mentioned it after I had to say something. I was nice, I just walked up to him and said..."excuse me, I just wanted to let you know that R was engaged to be married...to my mom!" He didn't even know. He appoligized and then said he would recognize her at the grave side service. I am so glad I didn that because in the car, my mom said she was a little hurt that she hadn't been mentioned. She wanted everyone to know that R had plans for his future.

I talked to R's mom and sister, they are both very upset with K's behavior. So are at least one niece and nefew of R's. They think K and the boys should be giving more to my mom. In fact his mom feels they should give everything to her and let her decide who gets what. At the after reception K was already talking about how she was going to spend the money she was getting from this. Her exact words "I'm fortunate enough to have come into this money...so I'm going to law school." She was fortunate enough to have her father die! It's just sick! Here we all are grieving the loss of a great man and all she can do is talk about the money. I could go on and on about the little things that she did to make this day even harder....but I won't. But to give you an indication of her...someone stoped the minister and mentioned that R had two sons and one was there...the minister appreciated the information K and her "best friend" rolled their eyes. Keep in mind this is just one in the long line of things today that said she is only focused on the dollar signs.

Could someone please come and slap this girl!

China, part 1

This will be the first of many posts about my trip to China. Let me start with...WOW! I had such an incredible time. It was so amazing to see things that were built before the US was even a glimmer in someone's eye.

The posts won't follow any particular order of the trip, just what I feel like talking about at the time. Tonight I feel like talking about the hotels.

I had been warned that the Chinesse 4 star hotel would be very different from the US 4 star hotel. It was...it was better. The hotels where amazing, we even stayed at a Howard Johnson, and let me tell you it was WAY better than any HoJo's have have even seen.

The only problem was the beds were like rocks! Or at least I thought this was a problem until I realized my back wasn't bothering me, even after all the walking we were doing. My back has bothered me more since getting home than it did the entire trip. There must really be something to those rock hard beds.

Every hotel also had silk comforters. Those are amazing. I didn't buy any while in China, but plan to if I ever go back. I won't buy them here, they only cost about $60 there.

Here are the rooms I stayed in...

Bejing

Suzhou



Hangzhou


Shanghai

Pretty nice, huh?

!@%#^%#@

My sleep clock is completely fucked up! Between the time difference in China, R's death, the stress of the fucking theiving sons and ex-wife coming to town and hoping my mom at least gets the things she wants from his house I'm going fucking nuts.

***note the use of profanity, I must be stressed.

We weren't finished with him

Last night my mom's fiance, R, passed away. He's the one with the brain tumor discovered just a couple weeks ago. He had been in and out of the hospital for the past few weeks. And he died suddenly last night at home.

I just don't understand why this had to happen. And don't tell me that god has his reasons for everything. This was mean and hurtful! We weren't finished with him, my mom wasn't finished with him. They had so many plans for their future, they were so happy together. And now he's just gone. He was one of the best men I had ever met. He stood by mom mom when she got her cancer, he took her to treatment, sat with her in the hospital and made sure she was okay when the chemo made her sick. They didn't deserve to go through this, my mom doesn't deserve this. Everyone always says to pray to god for things...well, I did pray, alot...and he died anyway. He died too soon. We knew that things didn't look good, but it was sudden, and mean and hurtful.

To make matters worse, there isn't a power of attorney (the day mom was scheduled to take him to the lawyer he ended up in emergency), so she won't get anything. She is having to ask if certain things are found if she could have them, because maybe they were gifts she had bought for him. I know he would want to have more, he would want her taken care of. But there won't be a thing. And I know this isn't the important thing, but it matters. Thankfully, R's daughter K, wants my mom involved in the funeral plans, that's a good sign that maybe, just maybe, they will think of her as family when they start going through everything.

We all felt as though he was part of our family. We loved him and we weren't ready to let him go. I hadn't seen him in a week because I was in China. I saw him the day before I left. I visited in the hospital, but a short visit, I was in a rush to get home and finish getting ready to for the trip. I should have stayed and visited longer, he was kind of himself that day. He hadn't been himself for weeks. I should have visited longer, maybe I shouldn't have gone on my trip, I don't know. But I wasn't ready to let him go.

My mom had gone to lunch with a friend after spending the morning visiting with him. After lunch she wen't home to take a nap. When she got up she called and asked if he wanted more company, he said yes and seemed fine. When she arrived at his house a whole 5 minutes later, he was in the bathroom, and then he was gone. She didn't even get to see him again, she didn't get a kiss or to say "I love you".

My niece, J, was teaching him how to be a grandpa. She's on OR with her dad camping. She doesn't even know yet. It's going to devestate her. She was so excited to have Grandpa R.

It's devestated us all. We just weren't finished with him.

How?

How do you pack up 30 years of memories and life and move it to another state?

With a lot of pain, stress and grief.

Sunday my sister's family and I left owr homes and drove 5 hours to the middle of Nowhere, California to help our dad and his wife pack my grandmother for a move to Phoenix.

Grandma has lived in her current home for 30 years, up until 10 years ago with Grandma V (who was a gardner and carpenter). Now, this week will end an era. Almost like closing a book, at least that is the way she looks at it.

As we packed things into boxes and tried to get her to part with anything she felt as though we were ripping her life away. The smallest of items had meaning. There were empty jars, boxes and boxes of empty jars, apparently for canning, that needed to be thrown away. Tons of yard sale items that had no meaning to anyone in the family and the only meaning to her was that she could make a buck. Boxes of fabric that could not be gotten rid of.

Whether this is a by product of living in very poor times or greed we don't know. What we do know is that this is tearing her appart. She would stash things in her tiny bedroom, knowing full well we would end up in there eventually.

She bad mouthed us anytime she couldn't find something, sure we had thrown something away, something of value, only to find it in some shape or form completly different from what she had us looking for. She felt as though we were conspiring against her. This made it much harder on all of us. We were all at our wits end. We were there to help, not to hurt.

But when it really comes down to it, how do you pack up 30 years of memories and happiness? How do you let go of the "stuff" and keep what is truely important. This is hard for her. I wish there was some way to help her see that we aren't trying to tear her life from her, we are trying to tear away the clutter so the memories and precious things can shine through. That we aren't trying to close her book, but help her start her new chapter. A chapter that she can enjoy with friends and family.


*I have photos, but blogger won't let me upload them...they will come later.

dreams

I'm not talking about the kind that you have for your future or the future of your children. I'm talking about the kind that you have during that hour when you alarm clock went off and the time you actually wake up from said dream.

This morning I had a dream about anothe ex-boyfriend (yes, he too had become a very dear friend). We lost touch when he got married. I don't think it was because of his wife (if it was I wish he would have told me that), I think it was just life that caused us to forget to keep in touch.

Anyway, this dream...my friend C and I are at a party, a Disney party (I don't know why, she never worked there and I haven't for 11 years) and from across the room I recognize T's voice. I race over and receive a big hug and we proceed to lay on the floor and catch up (kinda, it's more like catching up and hearing the stuff I have always thought would be going on with his life at various times), during this catching up he tells me they are having a baby. I am very excited for him, he shows me the really cool theatrical lighting they are putting in the baby's room and then I wake up.

It's crazy. It could be because I have been thinking about tracking people down I don't know. I would want to get in touch with T again because he was one of my few grounding forces. He kept me in reality. I have such wonderful memories of dating him and being his friend (and when we were dating most of the time it was more like being friends). He introduced me to hockey and a great group of friends. He taught me that you could have fun anyplace and that spending time with friends and loved ones is important. Just enjoy them...they won't always be there.

T was there for me early on when my marriage was breaking up. We would talk on the phone for hours. He would help me see the brighter side, pointing out that even if it didn't work out it wouldn't be the end of the world. He was a wonderful friend and I would love to be in touch with him again.


*I have noticed a trend here...the last three entries have been about friends. I must be feeling a need right now. Now, to just figure out exactly what that need is.

the god of goldfish

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to spend some time with an ex-boyfriend, who had become a friend and then we lost touch. We will just call him "the god of goldfish" (it's a long story and an old nickname).

I would say it has been 10-11 years since I have seen the god of goldfish, easy. And it was like we had seen each other a few months ago. He is a great guy and is doing very well for himself.

Many people find it either hard or inapporpriate for ex's to remain friends. I disagree, I think it can be healthy, if handled as it should be...as friends. I don't like to go around not liking people (although there are a few). I don't want to best buddies with these ex's, but I do like the occassional lunch, email or phone call. The one that just lets me know how he's doing, if he's happy and what's going on. I mean these people once held a very special place in my heart, that doesn't always just go away. And with this particular person the breakup wasn't bad, it just wasn't working.

When I tracked down the god of goldfish, I was inadvertantly connected with his brother (who goes by the same name, it's his middle and the g-o-g's first name, hence the confusion by the uncle who got my letter), but I knew this brother well so it was nice to catch up.

When I finally got the real thing I was very happy to find out that he had gotten married and his wife was expecting. The only sadness came because I hadn't been in touch sooner so I could have shared in his special moment. At this time we had exchanged emails, phone numbers and spent the greater part of an hour talking. After that it became a few emails. After almost two years I nailed him down to a lunch date, only if it was going to be okay with his wife. The last thing I want to do is cause problems for him, I mean this guy is really happy with his wife. He said she would be fine with it and today was the big day.

Four hours later I finally left his office. We had an amazing visit. I got to see pictures of all of his kids (they recently had another baby, making it 4. A step daughter, twin girls and then the baby boy), the wife, trips they had taken and various siblings I had known. We had a great meal and enjoyed catching up on the happenings of the past 10 years. I hope that this friendship can continue to grow and that I will have the opportunity to meet his wife and the kids in person.

I love reconnecting with old friends. I wish I could make it happen more often. There are so many people I would love to see or just talk to. Perhaps that would be a good goal...reconnect with at least one friend each month and make a commitment to keep in touch. What do you think?

...

7 DAYS UNTIL CHINA!!!

good friends, margaritas and carnitas

Last night I had my best friend (C) and her husband (D) over for dinner with M and I. Since C an I do the exact same thing for a living we never get to see each other during the school year. Drama teachers are crazy busy that way. The last two days we have hour long phone conversations, which has been great, but considering we live less than 5 minutes from each other it doesn't make sense that we don't get together.

So, I had made my first attempt at making carnitas (which turned out very good), and knowing M and I couldn't eat all if it, I invited C and D for dinner. And much to my pleasure they were able to come.

We had a wonderful time sitting on the back patio, trying to keep Stoli out of our faces while we ate and chatted for a couple of hours. Spending this time with C & D reminded me how much I really enjoy them, as individuals and as a couple. D is the first husband of a friend were when I call to talk to her, if she isn't home he and I will talk for a good 20 minutes before I ask to have her call me.

I have know C since college. We hit it off pretty quickly and became friends right away. For the most part during that time it was a pretty casual friendship, as we got further into the direct study of Theatre Education we became closer and closer (there were only 4 Theatre Ed majors in the department). We had a lot of classes together. In fact there are a couple that I could not have passed without her help as a study buddy. And there are times where she couln't have gotten by without me knowing when all the tests and assignments were, I always had penciles and paper.

We have continued to grow our friendship over the years. She was the maid of honor in my wedding and my main support system during my divorce. She has reasured me in times of doubt regarding my decisions and helped me see how much the marriage was killing my spirit in the end. She has pointed out how much of a stronger person I am now and how I had lost myself for a long time. Through everything she hasn't pushed, but rather pointed out the facts of various situations. She is always the first person I call in a crisis and in when I have happy news.

She is passionate and insightful. She feels deeply and strongly. She is talented and artistic. She is funny, caring and understanding.

I am so thankful that I have C in my life. I can only hope that I have been as good of a friend to her as she has been to me.

and the medical chaos continues

Stoli - the new blood work came back. Apparently the antibotics are doing the trick because they didn't say anything about having the very expensive ultrasound and biopsy done. The Dr just wants to continue the first antibiotic and put him on a special perscription diet and retest in a month. That makes me feel a lot better about delaying the expensive stuff.

R - My mom's fiance has finally come home, although he has to see a nuerosurgeon this week. There still isn't really any word on what type of brain tumor he has and he is still pretty confused because of the presure being put on his brain. We are all hoping for the best and that when this is all over we get the old R back, because he really is a great guy.

Mom - her final round of the "T" chemo has really knocked her down. She is feeling more tired than ever. But the chemo is done, she will finish out 52 treatments of Herceptin and have radiation, then sometime after that we should know if they killed every last cancer cell in her body. We are all staying very positive about this.

My turn - went to have my leg checked, it was supposed to be the last time. The scab came off yesterday. Now, this was not your normal scab offing...I didn't pick at it, it hadn't been flaking off for days, I just tried putting some neosporin on it and the scab just slid right off, in one piece. So, when I went to the doctor for the appointment it looked a bit raw, but felt fine. The Dr (or should I say PA) is concerned because it should be healed by now, it's been two months. She says it doesn't matter how bad the stitches were done, it should be finshed healing by now. We took a culture of what she assumed was puss (I know kind of gross) and sent it out for testing. I got back next Monday to see why I'm not healed. My feeling on this, I'm not healed because my body isn't finished healing.

the frustrations of medicine

Last week (Wednesday or Thursday, I can't remember) my mom's fiance, R, had to be taken to the hospital. He was very disoriented and confused, almost in a coma type state. He is diabetic and his blood sugar was high, but apparently that wasn't causing the problem.

It has taken until yesterday for them to figure out that he has some kind of brain tumor. That is all the information we have. And because R and my mom aren't married yet, and there isn't any paperwork stating she should be told everything, getting information is tough. R is still very confused about everything, so when the Dr. tells him stuff, it may not get to my mom in it's full and complete form.

We are hoping for the results on the MRI tomorrow. Although we aren't sure how we will get them because by the time my mom gets off work the Dr. has gone home and the nurses can't tell her anything. ARGH!

On a lighter note...R isn't much for following rules. On Sunday my mom went to visit him and he had already had his dinner. Well, with the state of hospital food he was still hungry. He got up, got dressed and proceeded to tell my mom he was going to get something to eat. My mom told him he couldn't just walk out of the hospital (the cafeteria was closed), his only response was "you think?" He did in fact walk out of the hospital and walk over to Denny's to have dinner with my mom. Then proceeded to talk back into the hospital, return to his room and ask the nurse for a new gown because they had taken his away.

And I always wondered how hospitals could loose patients...Now we know.

Good fun

Today C and I went to the Pantages in LA to see Joseph. I really enjoyed myself. I had not had the opportunity to see this show in the past so it was all new to me.

I am not sure if this was a traditional interpretation of Webber's work, but man was it fun. I must now own the CD, because I'm a theatre lover and must own the CD to every musical I have ever seen (except Rent, that is the biggest piece of crap ever, but that's another story).

If you don't know the play is the story of Joseph (duh!), but it has a lot of fun music and interesting costumes. It was really cool, the finale' was called "Joseph Megamix" and it was a super uptempo mix of every major song in the show and highlighted all the performers doing what they did best. I high recommend seeing Joseph if you should get the chance.

The only sad part of my day...I lost one of my favorite anklets. It was on my leg when C and left from lunch and gone by intermission. We traced back our steps but it's gone. I loved this anklet, just because it was cute, it had special meaning. M bought it for me on one of our trips to Temecula. Now, those who really know me would say "everything you own is special to you" and I would have to agree. But that's why giving me presents is so much fun...I love them, I charish them, I hold them dear to my heart and when they get damaged, lost, broken...I get upset. The item was special because you thought of me and bought me the item.

I called M and told him I lost it and that I was sad. He said to not be sad, that it gave him an excuse to buy me another something special. Oh, just another reason why I love this man.

Call me petty...

So, last week I get an email from my former in-laws, they want to make a donation to my Avon walk fund. That's great, it's nice to see they still care a bit. They opt to mail me a check and have me send it to Avon as opposed to donating online. That's fine, online money dealings freak some people out, no biggie.

Well, I got the check today. It is a very small check (which is not the issue). It is just a check. Yep, just a check, no note saying "Hi, here's the check we said we would send. Love, R & S". N0, "Hi, here's the check. Hope your mom is doing well." No, "Here's your damn money. Thanks for leaving our son, you stupid bitch". Nothing. If they want to hate me that's fine, but include a note with your check. It's a nice thing to do!

The juices aren't flowin'

I feel this great urge to do something crafty, but everytime I start to take some thing out to work on...I just don't feel it.

I want to scrap, can't decide on pictures, paper, colors, embelishments...nothing.

I want to make cards, can't decide on themes, paper, colors, embelishments...nada.

I want to sew, but that's a lot of work.

I want to glass (yes, I do leaded glass), can't decided on designs, colors of glass...blank.

I want to knit, anything but a scarf...unfortunately scarves are the only thing I know how to knit.

Maybe I'll just plunk myself down in front to the TV and be a veggie.

I never thought I would be happy to say this...

I had to pick up poo!!!!!

Stoli and I went for a walk and he made a poo.

This may be TMI for some of you...but when the dog hasn't gone in 4 -5 days, it's an exciting event.

Stoli Dog Update

This is the infamous Stoli Dog. He appears to be feeling a bit better. It's nice to see his personality (as annoying as it can be) coming back. But...there's always a but.

I went to pick up the second antibiotic today and insisted on seeing the Dr. not just one of his techs. The techs don't really know anything, except how to read the Dr.'s writing. I know this because they could tell me what the Dr. had written in the file, but not what any of it ment. My favorite comment today was this exchange...

Tech: His levels are elevated.

Me: What does that mean?

Tech: That all of the levels they tests are high.

At this point I wanted to scream that I knew what the word elevated ment, I don't know what that means for the dog.

Anyway, I was a bit on edge this morning I guess. So, I wait to see the vet. He was in an emergency surgery. A dog had been attacked by a coyote. Which in and of itself is strange to me...I live in Anaheim, the vet is in Fullerton, but that situation is fodder fro another blog entry. So, I waited.

When I finally saw the Dr. it wasn't Dr. G from Monday, it was the other Dr. G (to be known as Dr. G2). He was a little short with me, but it was a busy day for him. He actually showed my numbers and explained things a bit. And all in all he thinks it is Liver Disease. The results from the added blood test will make the final determination regarding the pancreatitis.

He at least had a bit more solid information. He said wait for those results to come back and see what they say. He said based on that his most likely recommendation is an ultrasound and biopsy to the liver, which is non-evasive. I told him one of my big concerns is getting this stuff taken care of before I leave in two weeks...for CHINA!!!! Can't take care of a dog from another country and I don't want M to have to deal with too much of it (although this morning as I tried to explain to him what was going on, through my tears, he told me he would do what he needed to do. He's a great guy, again stuff for another entry). Dr. G2 seemed to think the two weeks was plenty of time for us to get everything figured out.

The only thing that really bothered me was that he wouldn't tell me a prognosis or course of treatment for either case. It has me really worried about how bad it might be.

Which brings up a really big question....How much money am I willing to invest in this. Where do I draw the line? Do I refinance my house and take out equity to finance treatment (I know someone who did this)? Do I take the cheap route? Do I put the dog down (not top on my list, I kinda like the maniac)?

Where do you draw the line with a pet? Even if you consider the pet a part of the family.

My poor puppy

Sunday I had my dad, his wife (C), my sister (K), her husband (M2), my niece (J), my boyfriend (M1), and his daughters (L & B) over for a BBQ. Every thing was great, we grilled the biggest piece of meat I have ever seen (and O-bone roast), and it was yummy! We all had a great time, except Stoli, who just lied on the patio right next to the grill. Now, who has EVER seen a dog lie next to a grill and not seem the least big interested in what was on it. He didn't even what a treat!

Because of this behavior from a normally frantic, crazy, maniac dog I called the vet, who said bring him in. So I did. J, M1 and I went to see Dr. G about a very sad dog. Although by this time he was acting a bit more like himself. Almost $200 later I had some antibiotics and no real information other than he wasn't running a fever and he has slight ear infection. Not to mention this incident helped bring to my attention that I hadn't had to scoop the backyard in several days, not a bad problem to have, except it means I have a sick dog (and who wants that).

Today I found out that poor Stoli has either pancreatitis (spelling here?) or liver disease. Oh, and that they want to run more blood tests, do x-rays and give him another antibiotic. I okayed the antibiotic and the next blood test. I figured that was enough money until I have a chance to actually talk to the vet and not the cute girl who answer the phone and can't answer a question without asking someone.

Tomorrow I will pick up the antibiotic and do so question asking in person tomorrow. From what I could learn online both of these conditions can be treated with drugs and bland diet if caught early enough. I figure the longest he could have been sick is a few days before Sunday. And actually on Saturday L & B were playing with him and he seemed perfectly fine. The obvious symptoms seemed to have shown up on Sunday. Except maybe the "pile" thing, that could be a couple of days longer.

And do you know how hard to it is to tell how much a dog who doesn't eat much to begin with is actually eating? They asked when the last time he eat was, and I can only remember filling the bowl on either Thursday or Friday. He has this thing where he just eats a few bites at a time, so it doesn't matter if I fill the bowl or just put a cup or two in, I might not have to put food in the next day, because the dog just doesn't eat much. It freaks people out when they dog sit for me. He will go 3 - 4 days without appearing to have eaten a bite and then the minute I walk in the door, he eats. He has done this since the day I got him.

Okay, I'm rambling now. I am going to go and check on my buddy, give him his meds and then watch "Must Love Dogs". Ironic timing for that to be on the Netflix list.

I DID IT!!!!!

I reached my Avon walk goal, and have infact exceeded what I wanted to do. I am so excited to have raised so much money to help such a wonderful cause. Perhaps 0ne day no one will have to hear the words "You have breast cancer."

If you are interested in donating to my walk fund, please go to www.avonwalk.org. My participant number is 661411, if you click on donate you should be able to find my participant page with the number. If you want to donate, but don't like to do things like that on line, let me know and I can send you the paperwork to write a check.

If you chose to donate, THANK YOU!!!! You will be helping so many people. The money doesn't just go to research, it also helps those who are underserved and don't have insurance to cover the costs.

Once again, let's thank the efforts of all who make this their charity and cause of choice. It really does make a difference.

The close of a year

Last night was the first ever Drama Banquet for my school. This is a big deal because the drama department had started to become an after thought for most of the kids at the school before last year when I started there. The fact that I have been able to get kids fired about about theatre in two years is just way cool.

Anyway, we had our banquet, it was small, under 40 people, but boy did we have a good time. I MCed the entire thing, because it was a first and I didn't want to try to train kids how to MC a banquet before the event. Now, keep in mind, I am a silly person not necessarily a funny person, so this must have been torture for some people, but they were kind and laughed with me (maybe they were laughing at me later, but at least not in front of me). We gave 7 awards, best actor and actress in each show, best cameo performances in the musical, tech awards and of course a Spirit of Drama award (more on that one), and of course everyone got an achievement award. We didn't want anyone to go home empty handed, we even gave one to the little blonde girl who until she asked if she could come I didn't know even though she eats lunch in my class everyday with the drama kids. Everyone had a great time.

Most of the awards are pretty self explanatory, but the Spirit of Drama, this is an award I created at my last school. Sometimes you have a kid who just completely embodies what being a part of the drama program is about. They are positive, always have something great to say to people, may not be involved with a show, but wants everyone to know what a good job they are doing and supports every one and every thing. They strive to build up people, not break people's spirit. They can find the good in every performance. That is what being a part of my drama department should be. I actually wish I could have given every kid in that room a Spirit of Drama award. This is one of the sweetest groups of teenagers I have ever worked with (and I have had some great kids over the years). They applauded everytime someone got their award, no one felt bad they didn't win, or at least they didn't act like it, these kids even clapped when people arrived and ran to give people hugs and make them feel excited to be at their banquet.

I even received a couple end of the year gifts, one student made me poster with pictures from the musical and said everyone needed to sign it. Another student and his mom made me a scrapbook page of the musical and mounted it on black art board and had a gold pen for every to sign the board. I don't exactly know what to do with these things (probably put them up in my class, maybe it will become a tradition) but I love them just the same. These kids have really treated me well.

I love these kids so much. Last night I was truly reminded of why I love to teach drama and why it would it be so different if I only taught English. In two years I have watched some of these kids go from painfully shy to really coming into their own. Some of those shy kids have become my biggest talents. Their personalities have really begun to shine and I am so incredibly proud of each and every one of them. I like to think that I have had a hand in helping these kids find the strength in themselves to be who they are and to know that they are great.

I'M DONE!

Not literally, I still have 9 days to go...but mentally I am done, I am on the brink of drop kicking a student out the door. It's a very sad state of things. I love my job, I love my school, I am fed up with the kids. I think it's the question "What can I do to bring up my grade?" How about the novel concept of YOUR WORK!!!!!!

I was just thinking...

in today's overly politically correct society why is it still okay to make fun of blondes? I was watching TV this morning and saw the new Philly Cream Cheese commercial, the one with the angels and they accidently mix their Philly and Jam together (like the old "You got peanut butter on my chocolate...You got chocolate in my peanut butter"). Apparently this is a good idea, to have jam in the cream cheese, and the blonde angel wonders where they came up with the idea at the end of the commercial. This gets a "look" from the brunette angel.

If this used any other race of people as the stupid one everyone would be up in arms and going all crazy...but put a blonde in the idiot role and you have a good thing. I just don't get it.

As a blonde I am not offended, I just don't get it.

And Counting...

13 days of school

36 days until I leave for China

And the curtain closes...

It is finally over...Charlie Brown closed last night. Even with the difficulties I had with the VD the show came off beautifully. I am so proud of my babies (not a senior in the bunch). They did a great job.

We were adjudicated last night for what is the equivalent of the Tony Awards for high school musicals. And the judges seemed to really like the show. That makes me really happy. Although my school is over 100 years old and used to have a huge, thriving theatre program they have never been involved with this awards program. So I was very happy to hear such good things from the judges, especially with such a young cast.

My Snoopy, who is just amazing, her mom doesn't like her doing theatre. Well, much to our surprise, mom was very proud of Snoopy, and even shed a few tears. That's one of the things I love about my job. When family finds out something about their kid that only I knew up until the show opened. Hopefully this experience will allow this girl to audition again next year (mom had previously said no more shows).

So, now I say farewell to Charlie Brown and move on to the next adventure...The Crucible maybe?

Ten Things

10 Things I love About Opening Night...

10. The kids are all amped and excited.
9. Everything is ready...no more sets to build, props to buy or costumes to make.
8. I finally get reimbursed for all monies spent.
7. The air in my classroom is electric.
6. Baby socks...a tradition I started with the first play I ever directed, everyone gets a baby sock on opening night because nothing bad can happen when you have something so cute with you.
5. Telling parents how wonderful I think their kids are.
4. The look on some parents faces when I tell them how wonderful their kids are.
3. Tech kids getting as excited as the actors.
2. The Hugs...I get lots of great kid hugs on opening night.
and the number 1 thing I love about opening night...

The look on the kids faces during curtain call. They have never looked prouder of themselves than they do at that moment. That is the moment I live for.

The saga continues...

Show opens on Thursday, VD left rehearsal today at 6:30ish. This is the same man who wants me to put "Performing Arts Department" on all the stuff associated with the show. So, right now he and I are both playing the passive aggressive card (it's really not working for either of us). He wants "PAD" on stuff, I figure when he starts to take on more responsibility for the show, then I will change what I do. But I guess I should tell him that.

Most of the kids are on my side. I have talked to the principal, I went seeking advice and somehow it has turned in to him talking to the VD....which has me a little scared. I need to learn to deal with this stuff myself. Maybe I will tell the principal to not do it.

ARGH....someone give me some moxie! Please!!!!!

This and that...

Why is it that after you pay upwards of $50.00 to attend an event you still have to pay to park your car? I wondered this as I forked out $8.00 to let my car sit for two hours in a parking structure. It just makes the mind reel...the structure has been there for years, there are performances at the theatre almost every day for the entire year, it has to be paid for by now. The attendants don't really need to be in there, they don't direct traffic anyway. WHY AM I PAYING TO LET MY CAR SIT SOMEPLACE. Could someone please explain this concept to me.

I went to my first ballet last night. Sylvia performed by American Ballet Theatre. It was really good. I enjoy watching the amazing talents. If you have never been to the ballet and like stuff like that I recommend it. The strength these performers have is amazing.

On the opposite end of the spectrum I am going to a hockey game today. It's playoff season and a really good friend of mine, L, is a huge Ducks fan (I prefer the Kings myself), so I have found myself attending Ducks games during the playoffs. It's great fun and you get to see some great hockey.

The play opens in less than two weeks. I don't have all my costumes because I am waiting for them to come in from another school. I will call that teacher today to make sure I can get them on Monday, I don't want that last minute scramble. The rest of this weekend has been spend painting baseball hats to look like they are hand drawn, buying props and layin out the program. Ah, the joys of being a high school theatre teacher.

They finally get it...

My freshmen are understanding Romeo and Juliet! I am so excited. I didn't have to explain everything in the beginning of Act 2. You don't know what an accomplishment for these kids this is. Many of them are ELD or ELD transitional, they have a hard time with the literature sometimes. This made my "feel like jumping" day just a little bit better.

Ever feel like jumping?

Boy am I sounding like a whine baby right now. But then again a month's worth of insomnia will do that to a girl.

Today I found out that M can't do my lighting like planned. Now, why would you tell someone you could do something and then not tell your employer you need the day off. (This is not the first time he has done this by the way).

Now, I could do the lighting myself, I'm not very good at it, but I know what I'm doing. I just really don't like the 30-foot, broken ladder. I have sent out the battle cry of drama teachers everywhere - HELP! Hopefully someone will be able to come in and lend a hand.

I am not really mad at M about this. It is really more of a frustration...don't tell me you can do something and just hope your schedule doesn't change (this fiasco almost cost me $200 because I was supposed to rent a scissor lift-good thing I had waited until today). He did this with both of my cousin's weddings. He didn't bother to take the days off work, he just hoped he would be off after my RSVP that we were both coming. He had to come 1 1/2 hours late to one and left the other early. Now, that just makes me look bad, mainly because I put up with it.

So at this point in my day (and it's early) I feel like jumping off the theatre building. The kids told me to wait two weeks, until the show is over. The don't trust that the VD will show up to get them through it if I die. Gotta love the support.

And the saga continues

So things got worse yesterday...the VD walked out of rehearsal because of a comment made by an actor.

See, I have staged the ENTIRE play without considering the scene change music becuase it never gets played during rehearsal anyway. Adding it is easy, you just adjust the staging. Well, the kids were going from one scene to another and did it just the way I have had them doing it for 2 months, and the VD says there is scene change music that he has to get in. So, the kids exit and get ready to make the entrance again, they wait for the music to stop, and then enter. The VD said something I missed because I was making a note, the kid replied with what I had told them, the VD said something to the pianist, picked up his stuff and walked out without a word to me.

Now, I am not sure exactly what happened other than that. But it kept me up all night. Mainly because if the VD is going to act this way how am I to know what is going to happen in the next two weeks.

Before all the drama happened I was asked if there was going to be video of arial footage for the Red Baron monologue and if I had it in the budget to hire more musicans. Now, we are two weeks out...if asked about this stuff 2 or 3 weeks ago I could have done something. I had to tell the VD that I hadn't rented the extra music because I did last year and we didn't use it, HE DIDN'T REMEMBER THAT IT WAS HIM AND THE PIANIST LAST YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! He seemed a bit angry about this. I also said there wouldn't be any arial footage. He doesn't seem to understand I don't pull this stuff out of my butt!

I am such a wuss...

As you all know I have been having some issues with my Vocal Director (VD). He isn't as commited to this year's musical as I would like him to be. And now on top of that I have the issue of him wanting to do a show that I am not at all interested in doing, he has already talked to kids about doing it, as precasted several roles in his head, and doesn't seem at all willing to look at other shows with me to pick something we will both like.

So, being the wuss that I am I went to my principal. Not to tattle, but to ask for advice in how to talk to the VD about this without causing stress. Because let me tell you, every time I have mentioned to him that the kids don't know the music or that I feel stress from the show because of the music, things get very tense (to the point where one kid came up to me and asked if I had said something to the VD about the music because he seemed mad).

It feels like there is always something else going on that takes priority over the musical, I don't expect it to be his life, but could he at least be aware of the rehearsal schedule and try to work around that. That's what I do, but then again I make the schedule so that's a different story.

Anyway, back to my point (did I have one?)...I talked to the principal (who loves me) and asked if he had any suggestions on how to deal with this. I like the VD, he is a great guy. But, the musical is not another venue for his chamber singers (he told them that they are they only reason he does the musical and if they weren't going to audition then why was he doing it). The principal said he would talk to him if I wanted him to, I said I don't know. I don't want to make things worse or seem like a baby. I love my job, I want to do a good job at it. I don't want to make my job miserable by the VD feeling like I had to go over his head to get my way. It's not my way I want...I want us to work together so we can both enjoy working on the musical.

ARGH!!!!! Any suggestions on how to approach someone you respect about something you drastically disagree on and is really important to you? Help please!