Today I had the wonderful opportunity to spend some time with an ex-boyfriend, who had become a friend and then we lost touch. We will just call him "the god of goldfish" (it's a long story and an old nickname).
I would say it has been 10-11 years since I have seen the god of goldfish, easy. And it was like we had seen each other a few months ago. He is a great guy and is doing very well for himself.
Many people find it either hard or inapporpriate for ex's to remain friends. I disagree, I think it can be healthy, if handled as it should be...as friends. I don't like to go around not liking people (although there are a few). I don't want to best buddies with these ex's, but I do like the occassional lunch, email or phone call. The one that just lets me know how he's doing, if he's happy and what's going on. I mean these people once held a very special place in my heart, that doesn't always just go away. And with this particular person the breakup wasn't bad, it just wasn't working.
When I tracked down the god of goldfish, I was inadvertantly connected with his brother (who goes by the same name, it's his middle and the g-o-g's first name, hence the confusion by the uncle who got my letter), but I knew this brother well so it was nice to catch up.
When I finally got the real thing I was very happy to find out that he had gotten married and his wife was expecting. The only sadness came because I hadn't been in touch sooner so I could have shared in his special moment. At this time we had exchanged emails, phone numbers and spent the greater part of an hour talking. After that it became a few emails. After almost two years I nailed him down to a lunch date, only if it was going to be okay with his wife. The last thing I want to do is cause problems for him, I mean this guy is really happy with his wife. He said she would be fine with it and today was the big day.
Four hours later I finally left his office. We had an amazing visit. I got to see pictures of all of his kids (they recently had another baby, making it 4. A step daughter, twin girls and then the baby boy), the wife, trips they had taken and various siblings I had known. We had a great meal and enjoyed catching up on the happenings of the past 10 years. I hope that this friendship can continue to grow and that I will have the opportunity to meet his wife and the kids in person.
I love reconnecting with old friends. I wish I could make it happen more often. There are so many people I would love to see or just talk to. Perhaps that would be a good goal...reconnect with at least one friend each month and make a commitment to keep in touch. What do you think?