Saturday, July 15, 2006

We weren't finished with him

Last night my mom's fiance, R, passed away. He's the one with the brain tumor discovered just a couple weeks ago. He had been in and out of the hospital for the past few weeks. And he died suddenly last night at home.

I just don't understand why this had to happen. And don't tell me that god has his reasons for everything. This was mean and hurtful! We weren't finished with him, my mom wasn't finished with him. They had so many plans for their future, they were so happy together. And now he's just gone. He was one of the best men I had ever met. He stood by mom mom when she got her cancer, he took her to treatment, sat with her in the hospital and made sure she was okay when the chemo made her sick. They didn't deserve to go through this, my mom doesn't deserve this. Everyone always says to pray to god for things...well, I did pray, alot...and he died anyway. He died too soon. We knew that things didn't look good, but it was sudden, and mean and hurtful.

To make matters worse, there isn't a power of attorney (the day mom was scheduled to take him to the lawyer he ended up in emergency), so she won't get anything. She is having to ask if certain things are found if she could have them, because maybe they were gifts she had bought for him. I know he would want to have more, he would want her taken care of. But there won't be a thing. And I know this isn't the important thing, but it matters. Thankfully, R's daughter K, wants my mom involved in the funeral plans, that's a good sign that maybe, just maybe, they will think of her as family when they start going through everything.

We all felt as though he was part of our family. We loved him and we weren't ready to let him go. I hadn't seen him in a week because I was in China. I saw him the day before I left. I visited in the hospital, but a short visit, I was in a rush to get home and finish getting ready to for the trip. I should have stayed and visited longer, he was kind of himself that day. He hadn't been himself for weeks. I should have visited longer, maybe I shouldn't have gone on my trip, I don't know. But I wasn't ready to let him go.

My mom had gone to lunch with a friend after spending the morning visiting with him. After lunch she wen't home to take a nap. When she got up she called and asked if he wanted more company, he said yes and seemed fine. When she arrived at his house a whole 5 minutes later, he was in the bathroom, and then he was gone. She didn't even get to see him again, she didn't get a kiss or to say "I love you".

My niece, J, was teaching him how to be a grandpa. She's on OR with her dad camping. She doesn't even know yet. It's going to devestate her. She was so excited to have Grandpa R.

It's devestated us all. We just weren't finished with him.

1 comment:

Blondie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about that. It seems we are never truly finished with them, and I'm sure God has a better plan for him in heaven.