BOYS....ARGH!

Why in the world does the boy think I would want him to come over when he gets off work at 10:00pm? I teach...all day. I'm tired at 10:00, in fact I am usually asleep on the coach by 8:30. I don't want to have to entertain someone at 10:00 pm. Especially when I know what type of entertainment he is looking for. I'm sorry, but having him come over just for "that" is not my idea of romance. And can I mention how offensive it is when he gets all mopey about the fact I don't want him to come over that late. Does he not get it? Apparently not. And heaven forbit you try to explain this to the boy...then everything that is wrong with the world is my fault. Feeling like "that" is the only reason he comes to see me is all in my head. Well, if it's in my head it got there somehow, I know I didn't put it there myself. And while I am bitching about this, why does he think that telling me that "this will be the last time we can "be" together" before he goes out of town is going to be a turn on? What about just hanging out before he goes out of town?

Okay, now don't get me wrong...I am not saying I do not enjoy "that" aspect of our relationship. I just don't like feeling like that is the only aspect of our relationship he is interested in. And that is exactly how I feel right now. Now, if I were to tell him that, he will say "how can that be all I'm interested in, it's been so long since we've been together." That is supposed to somehow make me feel better. All it does is piss me off. He doesn't see the lack of what he wants is a by-product of my feeling like that is all he wants. It's a big catch 22 I suppose. But the question is, how do you turn those feelings around, how do you get back to the good times when you both felt satisfied with all (or at least most) aspects of the relationship. Or have I hit a hopeless deadend?

Boys.....ARGH!

Gotta Dance....

I FOUND A CHOREOGRAPHER!!!!!! Did I even mention I needed a choreographer? Well, I did now I have one, in fact I have two who are interested. For a month I try to find one, now I have to tell one of them I don't need them for the show. Yuck! I hate doing that.

But the good news...I have a choreographer, and it is going to piss off the vocal director. HEHEHE. He looks at the musical as a choir show, not a musical (that I think I have mentioned before).

I am looking forward to getting the kids dancing...not to mention they can't wait to be dancing.

On the set construction front...we are almost done. Although I have created some set dressing that will probably get me killed if not seriously maimed. (I'll post pictures when we're done).

The kids are having a blast, I'm trying not to stress, and almost all my leads are on a choir tour...shows goin' great.

My favorite mug

Tonight I thought I would share my favorite mug with you...There really isn't any special about this mug, except where it came from.

I had just changed teaching jobs, and had only been at the new school for about 8 months. I was enjoying the job and had a great raport with the kids. One of the kids, Lamar Thorpe, went on a study trip to Washington DC and when he returned he presented me with the mug.

It was purchased at the Arena Theatre. The pictures on the mug are from the advertisements for the two productions running at the time - two African-American Plays.

The mug may not seem like much, but I had only known the student for a short time, and he came from a family that did not have a lot of money. The fact that he thought enough of me and our relationship in the theatre to spend some of his money on this mug because he thought I would enjoy it really touched me.

I had the pleasure of working with Lamar for one more year afte that, then he graduated and moved on to the Army (which if you knew Lamar you would understand my shock). I left that school before the next school year started, so when he got back from training he discovered I had left. Several years later I heard from Lamar, he had tracked me down. He had one question regarding theatre and didn't want an answer from anyone but me. We had a nice chat and that was the last time I heard from Lamar Thorpe.

I fondly remember those two years at San Gabriel High School. I had so many wonderful students there. The talent was raw, but fierce. So much potential, those kids truely acted from the heart in everything they did.

oh whatever...

You ever just want to get drunk? For no reason, just feel like being drunk? I'm on my fourth glass of white wine, actually a pretty nice chard from Temecula - if you are ever there and you see this out of place sign that says Santa Margarita is open ...go there as fast as you can - this little old man retired and opened a winery. He only makes about 100 cases and when they are gone they are gone and he closes until next year. He is the last winery that has free tasting.

Speaking of free tasting - one of my favorite wineries Maurice Carrie has started charging for tasting and has taken one of my favorite wines off the tasting menu. The guys at the sister winery (Van Rokelle) said the wines where better now. Better than sewer water maybe, but not better than the wine they used to pour.

Two visits ago I discovered two new wineries, the first time I went we were the only ones in the places. Last time they were packed. Good wine travels fast. They are a bit expensive (we paid $50 for a bottle of Port - but DAMN it is good port), but they have amazing wines. One of them only pours reds, and you gotta love that. Reds are my favorite, so why am I drinking a white....oh yeah, I had to use some in cooking last week and in a another day or so I would have to dump the bottle and that would just be a waste of good wine.

If you are even in Temecula please do me a favor...DO NOT GO TO THE BIG RESORT WINERIES - THEY SUCK! You must avoid the biggies at all cost - I am not kidding, most of their wine is terrible and they are way over priced. In fact, stop at the Longs that you will see on the left side of Rancho California and make note of the wineries they carry. Go do your tasting with those in mind - and hold off on buying anything that is pretty standard until you can go back to Longs - on average about $5 less than the winery (go figure, I would think it would be cheaper at the source).

Okay here are my top picks for Temecula

1. Miremonte - my personal favorite (I belong to their wine club). Make sure you try the Opullente and the Old Vine Zin. Both are wonderful
2. Bella Vista - The Sonata is good, but not aging well, in fact I should drink my bottle soon. Try the Petite Sirah with their Campagne mixed, it is sooo good.
3. Santa Margarita - see above.
4. Filsigner - known primarily for their Gewurztraminer, but everything is pretty good.
5. Bare Foot - tastings are expensive, but well worth it. The bottles are a little pricey, but once again, an excellent wine. Not to mention the owner will be pouring for you (but probably not for much longer). This winery has only been open to the public since October 2005. Watch out for one of the horses, starts out real nice and then will head for the boobs (but that's another story).
6. Dofo - anther expensive but excellent choice. They are the last ones out on Ranch California, located in the owners garage, so becareful you might miss it.
7. Mount Palomar - The Meritage is great every year.
8. Long Shadow - especially during the summer, they have live music and BBQ. During the party they aren't doing tastings, but you can buy wine by the bottle or the glass (and those are some full glasses). They have a nice, big lawn and are very family friendly during these events.
9. Alex's Red Barn - if you are going to do Long Shadow you might as well do the Barn, they are across the road from each other. Very limited in variety, but if you like Cream Sherry, this is the place to be.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are some othe wineries that offer some good wine, these are just my favorites. They are not to be missed when I do a trip down South.

And for those of you who think the only good California Wine comes from Napa...get off your high horse and head to Temecula. Heck if you give me adavanced notice I might even join you and show you the ropes.

If you do make this trip, head to the Sizzlin' Steer for dinner (unless you are a veggie, it's a steak house). They have good steak at a great price. While you are at it, spend the weekend, hit the attique stores on Sunday, always a good time.

Wow, somehow this entry became all about my favorite place in the world, Temecula...funny how that works.

*Note I would have linked the wineries to their websites if I could figure out how to do that. Help...anyone....

why do they lie?

Do they not think the sub will tell me what they say and do? I had to miss my period 4 class yesterday to go to a community service performance with other students...and my lovely period 4 class told the sub they didn't have to do an assignment I left because they do it while they are reading! The dorks already read the chapter I wanted the work done on! I told them the day before that they had to do it. Do they think they won't have to do the work now? What in the world were they thinking!

To make things worse I had to write 3 referals upon my return for behavior. One for a student who the last three times I have been out of class has been a pain in the sub's tooshie. I emailed him mom, he quickly denied any wrong doing...who would have guessed! Now I have to have a parent meeting to discuss his behavior (this won't be the first time). I know this kids parents are looking to send him to a private boarding school because of his behavior. I have a feeling this might just be the thing to send them over the edge.

Collaboration

As a drama teacher collaboration is my middle name. I know how to work with others, I know how to get the job done. What I don't know how to do is tell someone they are not working well as part as a collaborative team.

Here is the deal, the vocal director I am working with has scheduled last minute rehearsals for his choir tour on days I have drama activities planned (activities that have been on the schedule for a long time). He expects me to just let the kids go, he gives them guilt because they aren't making choir their lives. I had a student tell me he was told that they leave for tour in two weeks when he told the choir director he couldn't make a rehearsal because he was at the drama competition.

How do you deal with someone like that? I like the man, I don't want to be rude, but he is scheduling things last minute with things I have had on the calendar for weeks, in some cases months.

This Saturday I am building my set. If I let all the kids go to choir practice I will have a very limited number of kids helping build (which now that I think about it might not be a bad thing). I am just tired of everyone saying..."Ms. P will let us go," "Rachael will work it out, go ahead and use the theatre," "It's just drama."

I want my program to be priority for a change!

Competition Season is OVER!!!!

I don't know why I call it a season it really is only two days, but it is over non the less. And we survived, rain and all.

The kids had a great time. We didn't make it to finals, but the kids are really up to the competition for next year (at least so they say). It is really hard to convince these kids that they will be competing against 68 schools, which makes about 2000 other acting students.

We saw great acting (as well as some not so great). We were pleased with who made it to finals for the most part (and absolutely stuned by some others).

In the 7 years I have attended this festival this is the first year it has rained on us. It was miserable. The school camp sites are on a grassy area, so it just yucky. My DBF went and bought me an easyup to we could try to get out of the rain at least a little bit.

There really aren't any exciting or interesting stories about festival. I am just glad it is over.

My dixie plate has not just spilled over...

it has bent in the middle and all the contents have landed hapazardly on the floor!

In the past two weeks I have forgotten appointments, missed meetings, and have yelled at little freshmen until they are all but destroyed.

I am a naturally organized person, so the fact things are falling between the cracks has me a little disturbed. And I don't like making little freshmen cry.

Things that used to be on my plate and are now on the floor...

1. My TB test is over due.
2. Missed a Site Counsel meeting.
3. Forgot to call my grandma on her birthday.
4. Lesson plans aren't done for my theatre festival tomorrow.
5. Laundry
6. Taxes aren't done.
7. Set design isn't finished (we're building next weekend).
8. Haven't ordered lumber (see #7).
9. I don't have a choreographer (we open in about 8 weeks).

I could go on and on, but I guess I really should be trying to get things done.

She said what?

The other day I decided to wear my retainer to school, having not worn it in several years, I got it in my head that I can correct the damage of not wearing it by starting to wear it again. So, there I am trying to hold class discussions regarding Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men, the general stuff - it was written a long time ago, they talked differently, ect.

This discussion brought up the use of the infamous "N" word. Trying to explain to high school students that in the 1930's it was common to use the word and it isn't necessarily being used in a negative sense, it was just a statement of fact - that is what the character is, just like I, their teacher, am white. The dicussion that followed was interesting, insightful and very respectful - even if the students were passionate (which in and of itself is an accomplishment). The problem came when we got into acronyms, I said "I hate acronyms" at which point the students looked shocked and started whispering, "What did she say?" "Did she say I what I think she said?"

I was very confused, so I asked them what they thought I said...This is where this gets funny, one of my favorite students, a young black man, looks at me and with great honesty says "Did you say you hate Africans?" I immediately got a look of terror and then start to laugh explaining that I said, very clearly "I hate acronyms." The entire class began to laugh, and then it was decided that I don't wear my retainer during class anymore, who knows what might accidently come out of my mouth.

And the Oscar goes to...

Did anyone watch the Academy Awards? There were some very disappointing things...like the best song...WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!?!?!???? The was probably one of the worst things I have ever heard. Take away the fact that I already don't like rap, that has nothing to do with my shock...the song just wasn't very good.

And what is it with these pale and proud women who wear equally pale dresses? Don't they realize they are pale, maybe the need to wear a little bit of color, and gold is not the color!! I keep hearing about how awful Charlize Theron look and who wonderful Jessica Alba looked...and I just look at the people like the are nuts. Jessica Alba's dress was hideous! I would take that big green bow anyday over the fiasco Alba wore.

I thought Jennifer Gardner was gracefull when she almost fell. Very cute and a great comeback.

I didn't see but a couple of the movies nominated for anything of note, but from the previews I saw I'm not sure I agree with the best picture nomination. Crash just doesn't look that good to me. I think people like it because it is a slap-you-in-the-fact type of movie. I did see Brokeback Mountain, I really enjoyed it. Excellent acting all around, beautiful cinematography, and very skilled directing, but also not sure if it should have won best picture. That's really all I can say because I did see any thing else other than Geisha, which was beautiful, but didn't do the book justice.

Next year I really am going to have to see all the movies. I hate being so uninformed.

Theft in the Drama Department....

For months I have been fundraising for my Theatre program with no problems. In the last week money and supplies have been stolen out of my room two different times.

On Thursday when I came in to drop off lesson plans for Friday I needed to get change out of the cash box to get some water and discovered all of the paper money was gone (about $40).

Today, the bag of lollipops on my desk is almost empty, yesterday it was almost full. And the money is gone from the cash box again (about $5). I am really frustrated. I have had candy and money sitting on my desk for months without a problem, now all of a sudden....I can't believe it. It is either the kids from the program who eat lunch in the room or it is the night custodians. I don't want to believe it is the guy who cleans my room, but he does often have kids helping, I think it might be them.

So, now it is time to lock down in the Theatre Department!

What a day

I was finally freed by the garage people at about 4:00 pm. I spent the day kinda-cleaning the house, meaning I cleaned the really bad areas, and made some not so bad ones worse.

You see, I am a compulsive stacker. Somewhere in my mind I feel that if things are stacked neatly it really isn't a mess (a habit I really must work on breaking). Picture if you will, stacks of magazines waiting to be read (I don't feel like I have time because of all the stuff that needs to be done (I am one of those people who just can't sit still, drives Michael crazy)), stacks of books that need to be read, craft stuff that I can't bear to put away because I want to get the project done, ads that I haven't looked at yet, papers that need to be filed. Wow, when I write it down and look around it actually doesn't look as bad as it sounds, but it is still a mess.

I don't understand how I can move and move and move, and the house never seems to get any cleaner. Why is that? Are the cats going along behind me and putting the stuff back in the middle of the room? Is Herb sneaking out of his habitat at night and throwing gecko raves while I sleep? Why isn't this house company ready? I cleaned for hours today! ARGH!!!!!!

The Perils of Home Ownership...

I love my house, everybody I know loves my house. It is just a really cute house. Now, I hate my garage door opener. Since I moved in almost 4 years ago I have had minor issues with it, sometimes the sensors don't work and it won't close, so I have to get out of the car and futz with them . But for the most part that was the worst of it...that is until about a year and a half ago. The first time I had to call people out the big spring thing broke, the second time the cable broke on one side and the door jumped the tracks with it half way open. Today, the cable has jumped the pully and has left the door partway open.

I normally would have been frustrated by this, but not too upset. But this happened as I was getting ready to leave to get my hair cut! And every woman knows how important that appointment is.

Like the adult I am I called the home warranty people to have the door company sent out, and the woman tells me that the company will get back to me in 24 hours....WHOA!!! I say, I can't be traped at my house for 24 hours, I don't want to be traped at my house at all. And I am only really traped because the garage door won't close all the way (I have a thing about leaving access to my home open - even if it is just the garage). So, in my most controlled voice, because I want pull this woman through the phone line, I ask if I can call the garage people myself, she seems put out by this and tells me I have to wait an hour to make sure they get the work order. Now, how is my not wanting to be traped in my home an inconvience to her? She doesn't have to call them, she isn't stuck in her house waiting for the garage people.

So, in another 40 minutes I will make the call to the garage people and ask them to please come save me. I was planning on spending the day at home, other than the hair cut, but I want it to be my plan, not the garage door's plan. I may just buy a new opener today, just what I wanted to do...buy a new garage door opener...I would much rather buy shoes. I will explain to them, they at least have to come and get the door open so I can get my car out and then get it shut so I can leave, even if they can't completely fix the problem today.

I really wanted to get my hair done!!!!

Scrapbook Expo

Today was a big scrapbooking day...I spent several hours at the OC Scrapbook Expo, which is like being in one giant scrapbook store. I am glad I went, but I don't think I would do it again. It was so crowded and for the most part I didn't find any exceptional deals. There were a few great steals, but for the most part, the lines for those booths were way too long.

Attending the expo did motivate me to get organized and get scrapping. I discovered that while I have been getting very sloppy with my organization of the scrap supplies, I have misplaced several packets of photos. Fortunately it will be a while before I get to those pages. I am YEARS behind (divorce will do that to you). I am so far behind that I can't even journal on most of the pages because I don't remember details of the events.

New goal for 2006 - catch up and stay up with the scrapbook.

You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown

Three weeks into rehearsal, almost the entire show is rough blocked, I don't have a choreographer, the vocal director has been gone more than he has been there, and there are some major attendance problems.

For the most part the kids seem to be enjoying themselves. Which is good, but many just seem to be there for the social aspects, instead of really wanting to put on a good show.

I have one student who I have been told might make Varsity Swim and if he does he plans on quiting the play. He is one of the principals...if he quits I will never cast him in another show. He says he knows this (other kids in the show have talked to him), and he says he will just do community theatre instead.

This is what I don't understand about this culture of students...they want to have a good show, but they don't want to rehearse or do the fundraising needed to make the show quality. Last year I actually had a student tell me "It's Orange High School" when I commented on not wanting things to look bad. Implying that we can't have a quality show because of where we are. I don't care how disadvanged a school is, there is not reason why we shouldn't have a quality program, doing quality productions.

But other than this kid and one or two others, I am really happy with the cast and am enjoying working with them. I just need to get the ensemble more involved. That is one of my plans for this weekend...figure out their staging for alot of the ensemble scenes and numbers, and figuring out how to make them feel more important in the dialogue scenes.

I think one thing I might do is check out a bunch of Peanuts comics from the library so they can read them and get to know their characters.

So we are now at 13 weeks and counting. Which may seem excessive, but with only working 2 hours a day 3 days a week, I feel it is not enough time. Especially with these kids. When I have trained the kids to work harder then we can work on shortening the time period.

Anyway, wish us "break-a-leg"!

..............

today I learned that I am self-centered and make people miserable when I don't get my way. This is apprently the way many people view me. This is not the person I thought I was or the person I want to be.

Things theatre students learn

After spending an entire day trying to convince people that students do more than "play" in a theatre class, that we do have rigor and relavance (the new educational buzz words), here are ten non-theatre things that theatre students in my class learn...

1. time management
2. to work together as a team
3. how to present in front of an audience
4. communication skills
5. how to offer ciriticism in a productive and kind manner
6. how to take criticism and use it for self improvment
7. the importance of deadlines
8. how to access creativity
9. thinking creatively
10. how to think "outside the box"

Now, how many employers would love to hire someone with skills like those!

Suncatchers for a Cause

I made leaded glass suncatchers, and for the next several months I will be selling them to raise money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

For those of you who don't know, my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in November 2005. She is currently undergoing treatment after a masectomy. She is doing well, but the treatment makes her really sick. Seeing her go throuhg this experience has really made this an important cause for me. I want to be a part of finding a cure for breast cancer.

If you would be interested in purchasing a suncatcher please leave a comment for me with an email address and I will send you all the information. The suncatchers will be sold for $25 each and will be in various shades of pink, white and clear class. If you would like colors other than that please let me know and I will be happy to make a custome suncatcher for you.

Thanks again for your support. If you would like to make a direct donation to my Avon walk fund please see the post below for the information.

Did you know...

that nobody in my face to face life knows where to find my blog? Most of them know I keep one, but I won't tell them where it is or even how to start looking for it. I am just not ready to share with them. Yet, I am always pleased when I find that strangers have found something I have written interesting. Go figure!

Avon walk for Breast Cancer

Dear Friends and Family,

Did you know that every three minutes another woman in the United States is diagnosed with breast cancer? I didn’t, and I was shocked to learn how prevalent this horrible disease has become in this country. In November 2005 my mom become one of those women. As I watch her go through her treatments I feel helpless, wanting to help, to make things better and to stop the suffering. With that I have committed myself to doing something about it, and I’m writing to ask for your help.

On September 16 – 17, 2006, I’ll spend the weekend walking, along with thousands of other people, in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I will walk approximately 39 miles, or a marathon and a half.

I will spend the next eight months training, fundraising and preparing for the event. It’s the biggest challenge I’ve ever taken on, but I’m very excited about doing it because I know it will make a real difference to the millions of people affected by breast cancer.

The money raised goes to the Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade, a 501(C)(3) public charity whose mission is to provide access to care and to work toward finding a cure. They provide funding for organizations all over the country in five areas: medical research, clinical care, support services, educational and advocacy seminars; and community-based, non-profit early detection breast health programs.

On a bit of a side note, I was pleased to discover that the Avon Foundation has an official policy that no funds raised through the Avon Breast Cancer Crusade program will be used to support breast cancer research projects involving the use of animals. You’ve got to like that.

I’m required to raise at least $1800 to participate in the walk, I have set a personal goal of $2500. Please help to support me and the breast cancer cause by making a contribution to my efforts. You can make your donation online by logging on to www.avonwalk.org and then click on “donate.” My participant number is 661411. You can check my personal webpage on the Avon site to check my progress and for other ways you can help raise funds for the walk.

And remember when making your donation, that in less than the time it took to read this letter, another woman in the U.S. was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Thank you for your support.


Rachael Paschal