a heart breaking moment

I had to take a day to ponder on this otherwise this post would be very angry and even more hurtful.

It has all hit the fan again with B after we thought things were getting better. Yesterday we were supposed to go hear her sing at her church and see a display of nativity scenes. I was really looking forward to going, I like nativity scenes, I like listening to choirs sing and it was the first time I was going to attend an event for B (even though her dad and I have been together for years).

M talked to B on Sunday afternoon and discovered that BB (birth b#@#$) was going to be holding a seat for him with her family. He reminded B that I was coming and that she should let her mom know. B gave the phone to her mom, who when told I was coming said "No". From there it turned really, really bad. BB hung up on M, he called back to talk to B but had to leave a message, B called him back after a few minutes.

At this point he asked B if she wanted me to go or not. The only way I wasn't going to go was if she said she didn't want me to. She said she didn't want me to, it would cause trouble. M asked about trouble for who, she said just trouble, so he decided he wouldn't go either. She then proceeded to tell him that her and her mom needed their space, that he wasn't there for her when he and her mom were together and he isn't there for her now. He stressed to her how he is always trying to get extra time with her and that her mom doesn't let him. (she makes sure he only gets the minimum of 6 hours the divorce papers say)

M ended up going but not sitting with BB and her family and he did not stay when it was over. He said B looked on the verge of tears the entire time. He is so finished with all of this. He goes out of his way to do things for B. He went and did lighting for one of her school dances, he is lined up to do 4 more dances for her thoughout the year (she's part of leadership). This means he is pulling out favors from people at this office to borrow equipment to make what B wants happen. This is the dad who "isn't there for her."

I was even dragged into the meat of the argument, apparently I disrespect her everytime I go to her house with M to pick up B. I never get out of the car, I don't even look at her if I can help it. She says she gets dirty looks whenever she drops off or picks up B from us. I don't even see her, she refuses to get out of the car.

I am at my wits end. I try to be supportive, I try to be understanding. But this CHILD treats her father like he's dirt anytime she doesn't get what she wants and I can't take it anymore! And don't know what to do. ARGH!!!

If only...

I could kill sophomores without any legal reporcussions. Because I can name almost 40 who deserve to die right now.

I have never encountered a group who can go from being good kids to wholey terrors in 30 seconds. They don't listen, they don't work and try to take a sub's word over my own. If they would stop their side conversations long enough they would know and understand what we are doing, my throat wouldn't hurt from having to talk over them to get their attention and I wouldn't feel like I'm about to snap at any moment.

Oh, and to all you substitue teachers out there, don't augment my lesson plans, no matter how weak you feel they are. I don't want to grade the stupid crossword puzzle that you gave them because you thought it would be fun. Don't correct my theatre students when they know what they are doing because they have been doing it for a week.

All these things combined does not leave me feeling well about leaving them for 3 days next week while I'm at a conference. This should be fun. I really should check and see which sub is in my room....hopefully it is the retired marine, he ROCKS!!!!!

Poor Buddy

On Monday the poor baby had to go the the doggie emergency room. He had a lot of vomiting and needed to be seen on the quick. After lots of time and lots of money it was determined that he needed x-rays and barium to figure out if there a blockage of somekind.

By 10:30 the next day it and two vets later it was determined that the problem could have been scraps from the molding he ate. But nobody will commit for sure. He was given some drugs and a bland diet and seems to be feeling fine as of 7:00 this morning when I left for work.

It should be noted that the picture actually has nothing to do with the incident in question, it is a photo of the poor boy covered in double stick tape. Since he can climb out of the indoor dog-run it was suggested that we line it with double stick tape since they don't like the way it feels. Well, apparently he tried to climb over, got covered in tape, ran outside rolled in the dirt to get the tape off, then came back in covered in tape and dirt and climbed out of the run.

Crazy puppy.

It's been a long time...

since I last posted. My home Dell doesn't think the cookies are turned on so I can't post from it (until today that is, it seems to be okay with blogger today). My old Compac makes M mad when I use it because I have the new Dell. My work Dell, well it's at work and I'm just way too busy there.

Well, I will just skip to the chase...The play was fab, the kids were great, I'm already rehearsing the next show and selecting the one after that.

We are now on Thanksgiving break and boy do I need it!!!!!

The next 5 days will be filled with cleaning, decorating, family and friends. I am very excited.

To get the day really going a list of a few of the things I plan on getting done today...

1. Get my hair cut touched up, the back is just growing out too quickly
2. Go to the bank
3. Clean the house
4. Decorate for Christmas
5. Paint the entry way (the great room/kitchen got painted last year and I have just never finished the job)
6. Finish my Christmas shopping
7. Make a couple gifts for Christmas
8. Send out the E-vite for our Christmas Eve family party
9. Clean the craft room so I can get crafty
10. Send a gift that should have gone out MONTHS ago

The picture is of the puppies showing each other some puppy-love. I LOVE this picture.

question...

Why is it that the Democrats can say what ever they want about the Republicans but heaven forbid a Republican say anything negative about a Democrat?


Remember to go out and get your vote on today! It's too important to let it slide.

Yummy!

I have belonged to a website called Hungry Girl for about a year. The site is great, they send out emails with good food choices and nutritional states on things you may not think about looking up.
Today I decided to try one of the recipes that came in an email (motivated by the fact my sister gave me the Hungry Girl cookbook for my birthday).

Here is my review and the recipe....

Broccoli Cheese Soup

1 tray Green Giant just for one Broccoli and Cheese Sauce
1 wedge Laughing Cow original light swiss cheese
1/2 cup plain soy milk
salt and pepper to taste

Cook the broccoli and cheese according to the directions. Peel back the film and stir, adding in the laughing cow wedge (cut it up). Replace film and cook for another 45 seconds and stir. Allow to cool for a minute or two then put in the blender (I used my food processor) with the soy milk. Blend until you like it, reheat and enjoy.

I thought it was a little bland at first, but add some salt and pepper and it is way yummy. Especially if you are trying to watch the fat and calories, but LOVE broccoli cheese soup.

You can make this for as many as you want. I like the fact most HG recipes are for 1. M doesn't always like the same things I do when I am dieting, so it makes cooking a lot easier.

I hope you enjoy!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

oh crap! Do you ever feel like you work and work and work and work and nothing seems to get done?

Welcome to my world.

I am to the point where I feel guilty if I do something for myself instead of for work. I can't see my desk and don't feel like I am serving my kids the way I should.

I would post a picture of my desk, but I am a bit embarrassed by the state of it.

Here are the 6 most important things on my to do list:
1. Get grades done
2. Prep my observation lesson (next Thursday)
3. Get the poster information for the fall play to the graphic design teacher
4. Call the costumer
5. Find a new restaurant for the faculty/staff to have dinner at before the homecoming game (my first choice has apparently gone out of business)
6. Finish updating my department goals and align them to the Content Standards (yes, theatre has content standards)


Good Grief...time to run to a meeting...will it never end?

Surprise!!!!!

M threw a surprise birthday party for me on Saturday night. It was a lot of fun and really nice of him. I feel a little bad because I was mad at first, I had told him I didn't want a party. I knew something was up when I caught him making 3 tubs of sour cream dip.

My mom, K and I went shopping during the day and when we came home all the neighbors, friends and family were in the house. He went through a lot of trouble to make this a very special birthday and I really do appreciate it. I got over being mad really fast. I think one of the best parts was the fact that my cousin and her family changed their family vacation plans in order to make it to the party. They were planning on being in town earlier in the week, but when they found out about the party shifted things so they could come. I thought that was really nice of them.

I was impressed with who M was able to get to come. Since he doesn't really know my work friends he had the one he does know invite others, he asked my best drama teacher friend to invite anyone she could think of. It was great. And even though he said gifts not necessary, I was treated very well on this milestone of a day (I'm not telling so don't ask). Although, I think perhaps I might drink a little too much, I was given many, many bottles of wine and a bottle of vodka. I'm not sure if they are trying to tell me something. My coolest gift...a Cricut. Those of you in the scrapebooking world will know what that is. I now have my very own electronic die cut machine. It is way cool. I do feel a little guilty that M spent so much money on it. I better make good use of it.

I have a wonderful husband. B helped with the party and I was told by a couple of different people how sweet she was. She never talks to any of my friends or family when they are around her, so maybe we have hit a turning point. Maybe my not caring about it anymore (or at least not letting her know) is making a difference. Now that she can see that I'm not going to let it bother me. I hope this is a change that continues and we see lots of improvement because she has a whole new side of the family who would love to get to know her.

So, now I am one year older, hopefully a little bit wise and very very happy.

My Program is Imploding...

I don't understand. I have a great group of kids, I am doing things they say they want to do, I am knocking myself out trying to make things great for them and still they insist on letting little things make them quit the program.

I don't know if it is becoming too incestuous and not enough new kids. I don't know if I'm putting too much pressure on certain kids or what. I have never seen this happen before in a theatre program and I am at a total loss as to what to do.

I love my job, I love my kids, I love theatre, but right now I am ready to give it all up and just teach English until I can find something else. Not really what I want to do, but it might be my only alternative to being miserable.

I am also going to not argue with kids who tell me they want to drop the class. I can't continue to fight with them. I think that is what they want, for me to beg them to stay. It's not going to happen. One of my best kids is trying to transfer. Before she came in I was told it was because she was mad about what happened on Friday in class while I was gone, when she came in she told me it was because she needed to work on other credits. I think she is lieing to my face, which pisses me off more than anything.

Somehow, since coming to this district I can't make a theatre program thrive, I did great at my last district and now, I am like the kiss of death for a program. It really is weighing heavy on me right now. I have some big decisions to make.

She's Amazing...

My sister, K, has been overweight for almost as long as I can remember. She is a beautiful girl, but just always heavy, very heavy, which caused me to worry about her health and wellness. Nobody in the family ever really said anything to her about it, that would just be rude.

She had done several periods of time with WW and was very successful, but always gained it all back, plus some extra. I think the gain back was because her husband wasn't that supportive. I think he was threatened by her weightloss and feared she would leave him.

About a year ago, K, decided she had had enough of being fat (I'm not being mean, she was fat, and she knows it). She started on WW again and this time made a total life change commitment. At this point she has lost well over 100lbs, looks fabulous and just plain glows. She has incorporated so many changes in her life and has made exercise a real part of that life.

Her husband still isn't that supportive. He is definately proud of her and likes a lot of the changes he sees. But he keeps talking about being afraid that she won't be able to go back to "eating normal". Obviously what he considers normal wasn't working for her and made her overweight. He is upset that if they go out with friends she won't have a drink because she doesn't want to waist the "points", which is actually kind of funny because she has never really been a drinker and most of the times wouldn't have a drink anyway.

I am so proud of K for what she has accomplished, she is my inspriation (not to mention I was always the skinny one and now she is. Who ever said a little sisterly competition wasn't a good thing?). Because of her success I am not much more successful with my weight loss and getting fit.

And now, may I present the before and after pictures of my amazing sister. Enjoy and let her be your inspriation too, she's as beautiful on the outside as she has always been on the inside.

Before

After

Shin Splints Hurt

A bunch. After the foot pain I got from the Avon walk as healed I am now dealing with shin splints that won't. Every time I think it's getting better, it doesn't. It really is messing up my workout routine. When I wake up with a swollen leg and pain I really don't want to go and work out. Even walking the dogs is hard right now.

I ice and ice and ice. I try to keep it elevated when I am home. But still I am in pain. I really don't want to go back to the doctor. I don't want to spend another $15 copay to hear that I have shin splints and need to ice it. I figure I will give it one more week. If it still hurts I will fork out the money.

On a lighter note...Rehearsals for the fall production are underway. The kids are excited, I'm excited and I think we are going to have an amazing show.

Fact or Fiction?

I have been doing a lot of research on pit bulls. I have two pit bull mix puppies. I want to know everything I can about pit bulls and puppies and how to make sure my dogs are healthy, happy and safe. But of course now I am so confused...

There are so many differing opinions, keep the dogs apart, always! If they get along, let them play together but keep them apart when I'm gone. If they are about the same age and get along and I walk them together and feed them together they will be fine together when I'm are gone.

I don't know what to believe now.

I have several neighbors with multiple dogs and they tell me to just let the dogs be together. That they will be fine.

I have talked with a friend I consider to be somewhat of a pit bull expert and he says they should be fine because they are about the same age and get along very well.

I often consider knowledge to be power, but right now I'm thinking too much knowledge may not be a good thing.

I got the call...

that nobody with a family member stationed over-seas ever wants to get.

My sister called today to tell me that MT was wounded. Fortunately, it is minor. His truck (or maybe Humvee) hit an IED (roadside bomb) and flipped. He broke his shoulder/clavicle thing and got some pretty good bumps and scrapes, but is going to be fine.

When S talked to him all he knew was he was being flown to the hospital in Germany. He will call later with details as to surgery and such.

The only other injury was the medic who was with them, he broke a vertebrae. He will also be fine. Everyone else was pretty banged up, but no fatalities.

Anyone who knows me well, knows I have an issue with the all powerful and don't go in for prayer, but for those of you who do, could you please pass some on to my sister and her family for piece while they wait to hear what is going on. And for MT that his injuries are really as minor as they say. AND for all of our men and women who are fighting a war that many don't agree with, but are still willing to give their lives for our freedoms and the privilege of saying you don't agree. (I love our soldiers!)

This, that and a whole lot of other...

This post will be filled with all kind of apparently random stuff...I haven't been able to log in to blogger for several weeks. I have finally just decided to download Firefox and all seems to be working now (damn IE). So, here is the past month in a nutshell...

1. The puppy formally know as BJ is now known as Fender and is a playful happy member of the family. He and Bella get along famously. They play hard and love even harder. Everyday when I get home from work I get the puppy attack, it's a full frontal onslaught of of puppy tongue, which is always great fun.

He is still having some housetraining issues and does not like the fact he is crated every night, but we have to do it. Not to mention he tore a whole in one of the sofa pillows and we aren't sure if we are going to be able to replace it yet.

2. School is well underway. So far so good, I think. The drama kids are fun, like always. The sophomores are...well...sophomores. I think the worst sign is the that when we were in the library today having a booktalk with the library assistant to help the kids pick out books, a kid laughed at the book that was about a girl who gets raped and then finds out she has HIV. When I asked him why that was funny his response was that he didn't know, it was just funny. Kinda scarey.

3. Avon Walk for Breast Cancer was this weekend. Once again it was a great experience. I didn't make it the entire 39.3 miles, I have an inflamed tendon in my right foot and it hurts...bad. But I keep telling myself and everyone else who feels sorry me, it won't need chemo so it was all worth it.

4. Today we saw the first signs of aggression in Bella. As we went into the dog park she was going to say "hello" to another dog on lease outside, like we always do when she snarled and lunged toward the dog. We opted to take her in anyway, and before we could get Fender into the park she was nipping at another dog across the park. I had to run over, I felt so bad, fortunately the owner said everything was fine. She knows Bella, so I think she knows that that behavior is unusual for her. After that she was fine, even with the second dog that she nipped at. A little later there was the start of a fight between her and another dog. Another owner we know sort of took responsibility for that one. He said he was trying to get them to stop eating the grass/dirt when both dogs were heading for the same clump and they started. Turns out it the second dog of same owner. So, this poor woman, both her dogs with issues with Bella tonight. I felt so bad. I don't know what was up with Bella tonight and I hope we don't see it again. Nobody seemed really bothered by it, I think they all know Bella well enough and know that we keep her in pretty good check and that she is in reality a really big love bug. But I can tell you, I won't be taking both dogs by myself again any time soon, just in case. This is going to be a two human opperation.

Okay, I think that is most of the information I needed to get out. Like I said, I have been trying to post, Blogger issues abounded, but Firefox to the rescue.

what were we thinking...

We were thinking that this face...

would end up in a shelter if we didn't take him in.

Meet BJ. He is a 4.5 month old pit bull mix who is now turning my life upside down. He isn't house broken, isn't crate trained, hasn't been neutered, growls at the cats, climbs out of the pen and is very much a PUPPY. Apparently he was an appartment dog who was allowed to run the house.

He is also a complete and total love bug. He likes to snuggle and give kisses and just love on his people.

He and Bella seem to get along pretty well. Although his little puppy teeth are tearing the crap out of her. He plays super rough, so much so I'm afraid of taking him to dog park.

BJ came to us because a friend of M's sent out an email about a friend of her's who needed to find a home for BJ because the appartment that allowed pets that they had lined up fell through. If they didn't find him a home he would be in a shelter. That thought just killed me because I know that in alot of shelters they don't up pit bulls up for adoption, they put them down, no matter what their disposition.

Right now as cute as he is and and sweet as he is I'm not sure I want to keep him, but I also don't want to see him go to a shelter. I feel bad because I either have to crate him and put Bella in her pen, or I have to nail a board over the dog door and put them both in the backyard when I leave for the day. He can't be left free in the house because he isn't house trained, not to mention we don't even leave Bella free in the house.

I'm also a little nervous about having two pit bulls. Although, I know that other people have done it. I guess that comes from the girl at the rescue we got Bella from scared the tar out of me when I asked her about getting a second one not long after we got Bella.

We want her to have a buddy for when I go back to work, but I don't want her lifestyle to completely change. I want her to still be able to come in during the day and lay in her bed. I want to feel like she isn't going to be hurt by another dog while I am gone at work.

I don't know what to do. I am so torn. If we give him back he goes to a shelter and I won't know what happens to him. I would love to find someone I know to take him because is going to be a great dog. But then again I have already started bonding with him and him with me.

Anyone have any advice or suggestions? I could use all the help I can get.

lack of focus...

Have you ever had one of those days (weeks, months, years) where you just can't get your focus straight? I have a two page to do list to take care of before I leave for San Diego tomorrow.Most of the stuff has been on the list for a week and I can't seem to get my focus to get it done. I putter here, I putter there, but nothing is getting done. All I want to do is sit on the sofa and watch TV or sit in front of the computer and play games.

I'm not sure how to get back on track, but if I don't I'm up a creek without a paddle come Monday morning when I get to my conference.

Home again, home again...

that's where I am. Vacation was, well, vacation. I really enjoyed the time spent with M's sister's family, they are great people. The time with the girls on the other hand, not so much. B managed to get out of going to the Canada portion of the "FAMILY" vacation by calling her mom and telling her she wanted to stay with her cousin. L managed to upset me by wasting money (M managed to do that as well). I'm sorry, but if someone else is paying your way don't sit on your but and do nothing because you're "hot" or "tired". But that is all fodder for another post in which I complain about nobody in this family being concerned with the difference between outflow and income (and it isn't going in the right direction).

I won't post all the details right now, I would much rather talk about what an amazing family M's sister has...Keep in mind I met K for the first time when she was only about 5 or 6. Seeing her with a family is actually a little strange.

K got pregnant when she as 16 and had C right before her senior year of high school. She managed to graduate, still taking AP and honors classes. When C was about 6 K married D. I actually had the privilege of attending the wedding. They are the coolest couple. K even wrote "wedding vows" for the kids to become brother and sister (D has a daughter about the same age as C). Since getting married they have had T and most recently baby P and D has legally adopted C. (It's beginning to look like alphabet soup here).

Being able to watch this family interact was so much fun. K is an amazing mom to these kids and has the patience of a saint. I don't know how she does it, there were times when I would have flipped my lid. Even more amazing is the fabulous relationship she has with D's daughter, E. As a stepmom I understand how hard that can be and K has it down. E even calls her mom.

K's family has completely embraced me as part of the family, which I know can be hard as the second wife. I felt so comfortable at their home (which is saying a lot, because I HATE to stay at other people's houses). I feel so lucky to have become part of this family. Not only to I have a fab husband (yeah, even though he makes me mad sometimes I still think he's pretty nifty), but I have an awesome extended family. I don't think I could as for more.

A bit of this, a bit of that and a little ARGH!!!

I have enjoyed my first full week off work despite the fact that I have had to spend the evenings at the school dealing with an outside group that has rented the theatre. They were nice for the most part, at least nicer than they were last time they used the space. My kids learned a lot, mainly because I actually left the school for a couple hours at a time and they had to deal with the show on their own.

Anyway, the show closed last night. The kids were told they were being given shirts, no shirts ever appeared (they did receive gift cards to In and Out Hamburger). When the director of the group was thanking everyone for their help, I was thanked for loaning them set pieces. The ever present, ever so much of an a#$, vocal director was thanked for loaning them audio equipment. Yes, you read that right, loaning them audio equipment. Last time I checked the audio equipment was the theatre department's and the wireless mics (which are crap) were his. This just irritated me, the kids were pissed. They also didn't get a public thank you. They worked their butts off for a week, in the sweltering heat (we don't have AC in the theatre), for $10. I might be hard pressed to get them to work the shows for this group next year. They enjoy it, but they feel really used. I won't say anything because I don't want to sound petty, at least not out in my "real" world.

Okay, that was the ARGH~! Now on to this and that...

M has been gone for 12 days, he returns home just in time for us to head out for vacation. I really don't want to go. We are going through another rough patch with B and her feelings toward me and my marrying her dad. I don't want to leave the puppy (I will have to post some pictures...she's HUGE!). I just want to stay here and enjoy my summer and not run around like a crazy person. Wow, how many people say they don't want to go on vacation? Am I really crazy.

I have upped my traning for the Avon Walk, it is less than 90 days away and my longest walks are only at 3mi. Probably because I walk with the dog and I don't think she can walk that far and I certainly can't carry her back to the car if she loses her pep. If you would like to make a donation to my walker fund you can do that at www.avonwalk.org , I'm walker number 871001. It would be greatly appreciated.

One of my favorite blogs to read has several pictures of the lovely blogger herself. This got me thinking...I'm never in any pictures. It could be because I am 50lbs overweight and I subconsciously avoid the camera, but still...you would never know I was at most of my family functions. I am usually behind the camera. This summer I say remedy this...I will lose the 50lbs (that way I know that's not the reason and I might actually like the pictures I'm in) and I will make sure to have pictures taken of me. I did this when in China, I don't know why I don't do it all the time. I also forget to take pictures a lot of the time. This would explain the lack of pictures in my blog and why I seem to have lost my scrappy mojo. (although I am beginning to feel crafy this summer).

I have a TON of things to do before we leave tomorrow...I can't believe most of it isn't done yet. I think I will blame it on the heat...it's been too hot to do almost anything. Here is a low down of what will happen before I leave for the airport tomorrow at 5:00 am.

1. finish laundry
2. pack
3. create a dog run inside the house for the puppy
4. go to the petstore
5. type detailed instructions on how to care for pets
6. get keys made for the various housesitters to take care of pets
7. pick up audio and lighting equipment from the school to prevent it being stolen during the summer.
8. finish cleaning the house
9. buy a swimsuit (not like I haven't had TONS of time to do this)
10. clean out the fridge (I don't want to come home to anything stinky)
11. meet with the house sitters so they know how to walk the puppy
12. create lock-up checklist to prevent OCD panic at airport
13. go to the bank to deposit tax check
14. pay bills to avoid them being late while I am gone


I guess that really isn't that much. I think I might actually make it. If I actually get moving....

it's finally over...

The school year has ended. My last day was on Thursday, Bella spent the day getting loved on by all my teacher friends while I tried to get checked out for summer. I have spent the last couple of days trying to get things squared away for a summer learning institute I am planning on attending (they have only been nagging me to come for 3 years) and trying to get the house ready to go on vacation (I hate leaving a dirty house).

I can definately tell the school year needed to catch up with me. Yesterday I took a 2 1/2 hour nap. Mind you I do not do naps well. It usually takes me about 3 hours to recover from taking one. Then I fell asleep on the sofa watching TV at about 8:30 and slept until almost 7:00 this morning. I guess my body was ready for some good rest. Now I am ready to hit the summer feet first.

I will spend the next week cleaning, packing and relaxing during the day and the spend the evenings at the school with an outside theatre company who is renting my space (that means they are also renting the lights and sound equipement, which I don't let anybody not in my department run). It should be interesting to say the least (I thought their last show stunk up the place). I will spent most of the time in my class prepping for next year, might as well make good use of my time.

Now I am off to hit the treadmill and take Bella for her mile walk. I hope everyone is enjoying the fab weather...it's FINALLY feeling pretty good here in ol' So Cal.

Is it just me...

or is waiting two weeks to tell someone if they got a job unprofessional?

Two weeks ago I interviewed for th activities director position at my school. I know I'm nuts, but I think I can do a good job. Only three people interviewed. I have been asked on an almost daily basis if I have heard anything.

Yesterday I was told that the principal was talking to people. I never got a phone call about the position.

Today I ask my biggest competition if she has heard anything. She said P had talked to her and looked shocked that I hadn't heard anything. She said that's not cool, I agree.

I then went to the front office and told P's secretary that I have started to hear rumors and wanted to know if P was ever going to talk to me about the position. She said he was off site and then had a parent meeting after that. If he could fit me in she would let me know.

If I didn't get it, fine! I am most upset because I have been left hanging. I feel like this shows a complete lack of respect for me and what I do. Like my time isn't worth anything. I am trying to plan things for the summer and don't want to overcommit in the event I do get the job and need to do stuff for that.

I have already decided that if I don't get it I'm not interviewing again if it opens up in the future.

So, is it just me or is it just a little unprofessional to leave someone hanging.