Monday, December 08, 2008

a heart breaking moment

I had to take a day to ponder on this otherwise this post would be very angry and even more hurtful.

It has all hit the fan again with B after we thought things were getting better. Yesterday we were supposed to go hear her sing at her church and see a display of nativity scenes. I was really looking forward to going, I like nativity scenes, I like listening to choirs sing and it was the first time I was going to attend an event for B (even though her dad and I have been together for years).

M talked to B on Sunday afternoon and discovered that BB (birth b#@#$) was going to be holding a seat for him with her family. He reminded B that I was coming and that she should let her mom know. B gave the phone to her mom, who when told I was coming said "No". From there it turned really, really bad. BB hung up on M, he called back to talk to B but had to leave a message, B called him back after a few minutes.

At this point he asked B if she wanted me to go or not. The only way I wasn't going to go was if she said she didn't want me to. She said she didn't want me to, it would cause trouble. M asked about trouble for who, she said just trouble, so he decided he wouldn't go either. She then proceeded to tell him that her and her mom needed their space, that he wasn't there for her when he and her mom were together and he isn't there for her now. He stressed to her how he is always trying to get extra time with her and that her mom doesn't let him. (she makes sure he only gets the minimum of 6 hours the divorce papers say)

M ended up going but not sitting with BB and her family and he did not stay when it was over. He said B looked on the verge of tears the entire time. He is so finished with all of this. He goes out of his way to do things for B. He went and did lighting for one of her school dances, he is lined up to do 4 more dances for her thoughout the year (she's part of leadership). This means he is pulling out favors from people at this office to borrow equipment to make what B wants happen. This is the dad who "isn't there for her."

I was even dragged into the meat of the argument, apparently I disrespect her everytime I go to her house with M to pick up B. I never get out of the car, I don't even look at her if I can help it. She says she gets dirty looks whenever she drops off or picks up B from us. I don't even see her, she refuses to get out of the car.

I am at my wits end. I try to be supportive, I try to be understanding. But this CHILD treats her father like he's dirt anytime she doesn't get what she wants and I can't take it anymore! And don't know what to do. ARGH!!!

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