the god of goldfish

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to spend some time with an ex-boyfriend, who had become a friend and then we lost touch. We will just call him "the god of goldfish" (it's a long story and an old nickname).

I would say it has been 10-11 years since I have seen the god of goldfish, easy. And it was like we had seen each other a few months ago. He is a great guy and is doing very well for himself.

Many people find it either hard or inapporpriate for ex's to remain friends. I disagree, I think it can be healthy, if handled as it should be...as friends. I don't like to go around not liking people (although there are a few). I don't want to best buddies with these ex's, but I do like the occassional lunch, email or phone call. The one that just lets me know how he's doing, if he's happy and what's going on. I mean these people once held a very special place in my heart, that doesn't always just go away. And with this particular person the breakup wasn't bad, it just wasn't working.

When I tracked down the god of goldfish, I was inadvertantly connected with his brother (who goes by the same name, it's his middle and the g-o-g's first name, hence the confusion by the uncle who got my letter), but I knew this brother well so it was nice to catch up.

When I finally got the real thing I was very happy to find out that he had gotten married and his wife was expecting. The only sadness came because I hadn't been in touch sooner so I could have shared in his special moment. At this time we had exchanged emails, phone numbers and spent the greater part of an hour talking. After that it became a few emails. After almost two years I nailed him down to a lunch date, only if it was going to be okay with his wife. The last thing I want to do is cause problems for him, I mean this guy is really happy with his wife. He said she would be fine with it and today was the big day.

Four hours later I finally left his office. We had an amazing visit. I got to see pictures of all of his kids (they recently had another baby, making it 4. A step daughter, twin girls and then the baby boy), the wife, trips they had taken and various siblings I had known. We had a great meal and enjoyed catching up on the happenings of the past 10 years. I hope that this friendship can continue to grow and that I will have the opportunity to meet his wife and the kids in person.

I love reconnecting with old friends. I wish I could make it happen more often. There are so many people I would love to see or just talk to. Perhaps that would be a good goal...reconnect with at least one friend each month and make a commitment to keep in touch. What do you think?

...

7 DAYS UNTIL CHINA!!!

good friends, margaritas and carnitas

Last night I had my best friend (C) and her husband (D) over for dinner with M and I. Since C an I do the exact same thing for a living we never get to see each other during the school year. Drama teachers are crazy busy that way. The last two days we have hour long phone conversations, which has been great, but considering we live less than 5 minutes from each other it doesn't make sense that we don't get together.

So, I had made my first attempt at making carnitas (which turned out very good), and knowing M and I couldn't eat all if it, I invited C and D for dinner. And much to my pleasure they were able to come.

We had a wonderful time sitting on the back patio, trying to keep Stoli out of our faces while we ate and chatted for a couple of hours. Spending this time with C & D reminded me how much I really enjoy them, as individuals and as a couple. D is the first husband of a friend were when I call to talk to her, if she isn't home he and I will talk for a good 20 minutes before I ask to have her call me.

I have know C since college. We hit it off pretty quickly and became friends right away. For the most part during that time it was a pretty casual friendship, as we got further into the direct study of Theatre Education we became closer and closer (there were only 4 Theatre Ed majors in the department). We had a lot of classes together. In fact there are a couple that I could not have passed without her help as a study buddy. And there are times where she couln't have gotten by without me knowing when all the tests and assignments were, I always had penciles and paper.

We have continued to grow our friendship over the years. She was the maid of honor in my wedding and my main support system during my divorce. She has reasured me in times of doubt regarding my decisions and helped me see how much the marriage was killing my spirit in the end. She has pointed out how much of a stronger person I am now and how I had lost myself for a long time. Through everything she hasn't pushed, but rather pointed out the facts of various situations. She is always the first person I call in a crisis and in when I have happy news.

She is passionate and insightful. She feels deeply and strongly. She is talented and artistic. She is funny, caring and understanding.

I am so thankful that I have C in my life. I can only hope that I have been as good of a friend to her as she has been to me.

and the medical chaos continues

Stoli - the new blood work came back. Apparently the antibotics are doing the trick because they didn't say anything about having the very expensive ultrasound and biopsy done. The Dr just wants to continue the first antibiotic and put him on a special perscription diet and retest in a month. That makes me feel a lot better about delaying the expensive stuff.

R - My mom's fiance has finally come home, although he has to see a nuerosurgeon this week. There still isn't really any word on what type of brain tumor he has and he is still pretty confused because of the presure being put on his brain. We are all hoping for the best and that when this is all over we get the old R back, because he really is a great guy.

Mom - her final round of the "T" chemo has really knocked her down. She is feeling more tired than ever. But the chemo is done, she will finish out 52 treatments of Herceptin and have radiation, then sometime after that we should know if they killed every last cancer cell in her body. We are all staying very positive about this.

My turn - went to have my leg checked, it was supposed to be the last time. The scab came off yesterday. Now, this was not your normal scab offing...I didn't pick at it, it hadn't been flaking off for days, I just tried putting some neosporin on it and the scab just slid right off, in one piece. So, when I went to the doctor for the appointment it looked a bit raw, but felt fine. The Dr (or should I say PA) is concerned because it should be healed by now, it's been two months. She says it doesn't matter how bad the stitches were done, it should be finshed healing by now. We took a culture of what she assumed was puss (I know kind of gross) and sent it out for testing. I got back next Monday to see why I'm not healed. My feeling on this, I'm not healed because my body isn't finished healing.

the frustrations of medicine

Last week (Wednesday or Thursday, I can't remember) my mom's fiance, R, had to be taken to the hospital. He was very disoriented and confused, almost in a coma type state. He is diabetic and his blood sugar was high, but apparently that wasn't causing the problem.

It has taken until yesterday for them to figure out that he has some kind of brain tumor. That is all the information we have. And because R and my mom aren't married yet, and there isn't any paperwork stating she should be told everything, getting information is tough. R is still very confused about everything, so when the Dr. tells him stuff, it may not get to my mom in it's full and complete form.

We are hoping for the results on the MRI tomorrow. Although we aren't sure how we will get them because by the time my mom gets off work the Dr. has gone home and the nurses can't tell her anything. ARGH!

On a lighter note...R isn't much for following rules. On Sunday my mom went to visit him and he had already had his dinner. Well, with the state of hospital food he was still hungry. He got up, got dressed and proceeded to tell my mom he was going to get something to eat. My mom told him he couldn't just walk out of the hospital (the cafeteria was closed), his only response was "you think?" He did in fact walk out of the hospital and walk over to Denny's to have dinner with my mom. Then proceeded to talk back into the hospital, return to his room and ask the nurse for a new gown because they had taken his away.

And I always wondered how hospitals could loose patients...Now we know.

Good fun

Today C and I went to the Pantages in LA to see Joseph. I really enjoyed myself. I had not had the opportunity to see this show in the past so it was all new to me.

I am not sure if this was a traditional interpretation of Webber's work, but man was it fun. I must now own the CD, because I'm a theatre lover and must own the CD to every musical I have ever seen (except Rent, that is the biggest piece of crap ever, but that's another story).

If you don't know the play is the story of Joseph (duh!), but it has a lot of fun music and interesting costumes. It was really cool, the finale' was called "Joseph Megamix" and it was a super uptempo mix of every major song in the show and highlighted all the performers doing what they did best. I high recommend seeing Joseph if you should get the chance.

The only sad part of my day...I lost one of my favorite anklets. It was on my leg when C and left from lunch and gone by intermission. We traced back our steps but it's gone. I loved this anklet, just because it was cute, it had special meaning. M bought it for me on one of our trips to Temecula. Now, those who really know me would say "everything you own is special to you" and I would have to agree. But that's why giving me presents is so much fun...I love them, I charish them, I hold them dear to my heart and when they get damaged, lost, broken...I get upset. The item was special because you thought of me and bought me the item.

I called M and told him I lost it and that I was sad. He said to not be sad, that it gave him an excuse to buy me another something special. Oh, just another reason why I love this man.

Call me petty...

So, last week I get an email from my former in-laws, they want to make a donation to my Avon walk fund. That's great, it's nice to see they still care a bit. They opt to mail me a check and have me send it to Avon as opposed to donating online. That's fine, online money dealings freak some people out, no biggie.

Well, I got the check today. It is a very small check (which is not the issue). It is just a check. Yep, just a check, no note saying "Hi, here's the check we said we would send. Love, R & S". N0, "Hi, here's the check. Hope your mom is doing well." No, "Here's your damn money. Thanks for leaving our son, you stupid bitch". Nothing. If they want to hate me that's fine, but include a note with your check. It's a nice thing to do!

The juices aren't flowin'

I feel this great urge to do something crafty, but everytime I start to take some thing out to work on...I just don't feel it.

I want to scrap, can't decide on pictures, paper, colors, embelishments...nothing.

I want to make cards, can't decide on themes, paper, colors, embelishments...nada.

I want to sew, but that's a lot of work.

I want to glass (yes, I do leaded glass), can't decided on designs, colors of glass...blank.

I want to knit, anything but a scarf...unfortunately scarves are the only thing I know how to knit.

Maybe I'll just plunk myself down in front to the TV and be a veggie.

I never thought I would be happy to say this...

I had to pick up poo!!!!!

Stoli and I went for a walk and he made a poo.

This may be TMI for some of you...but when the dog hasn't gone in 4 -5 days, it's an exciting event.

Stoli Dog Update

This is the infamous Stoli Dog. He appears to be feeling a bit better. It's nice to see his personality (as annoying as it can be) coming back. But...there's always a but.

I went to pick up the second antibiotic today and insisted on seeing the Dr. not just one of his techs. The techs don't really know anything, except how to read the Dr.'s writing. I know this because they could tell me what the Dr. had written in the file, but not what any of it ment. My favorite comment today was this exchange...

Tech: His levels are elevated.

Me: What does that mean?

Tech: That all of the levels they tests are high.

At this point I wanted to scream that I knew what the word elevated ment, I don't know what that means for the dog.

Anyway, I was a bit on edge this morning I guess. So, I wait to see the vet. He was in an emergency surgery. A dog had been attacked by a coyote. Which in and of itself is strange to me...I live in Anaheim, the vet is in Fullerton, but that situation is fodder fro another blog entry. So, I waited.

When I finally saw the Dr. it wasn't Dr. G from Monday, it was the other Dr. G (to be known as Dr. G2). He was a little short with me, but it was a busy day for him. He actually showed my numbers and explained things a bit. And all in all he thinks it is Liver Disease. The results from the added blood test will make the final determination regarding the pancreatitis.

He at least had a bit more solid information. He said wait for those results to come back and see what they say. He said based on that his most likely recommendation is an ultrasound and biopsy to the liver, which is non-evasive. I told him one of my big concerns is getting this stuff taken care of before I leave in two weeks...for CHINA!!!! Can't take care of a dog from another country and I don't want M to have to deal with too much of it (although this morning as I tried to explain to him what was going on, through my tears, he told me he would do what he needed to do. He's a great guy, again stuff for another entry). Dr. G2 seemed to think the two weeks was plenty of time for us to get everything figured out.

The only thing that really bothered me was that he wouldn't tell me a prognosis or course of treatment for either case. It has me really worried about how bad it might be.

Which brings up a really big question....How much money am I willing to invest in this. Where do I draw the line? Do I refinance my house and take out equity to finance treatment (I know someone who did this)? Do I take the cheap route? Do I put the dog down (not top on my list, I kinda like the maniac)?

Where do you draw the line with a pet? Even if you consider the pet a part of the family.

My poor puppy

Sunday I had my dad, his wife (C), my sister (K), her husband (M2), my niece (J), my boyfriend (M1), and his daughters (L & B) over for a BBQ. Every thing was great, we grilled the biggest piece of meat I have ever seen (and O-bone roast), and it was yummy! We all had a great time, except Stoli, who just lied on the patio right next to the grill. Now, who has EVER seen a dog lie next to a grill and not seem the least big interested in what was on it. He didn't even what a treat!

Because of this behavior from a normally frantic, crazy, maniac dog I called the vet, who said bring him in. So I did. J, M1 and I went to see Dr. G about a very sad dog. Although by this time he was acting a bit more like himself. Almost $200 later I had some antibiotics and no real information other than he wasn't running a fever and he has slight ear infection. Not to mention this incident helped bring to my attention that I hadn't had to scoop the backyard in several days, not a bad problem to have, except it means I have a sick dog (and who wants that).

Today I found out that poor Stoli has either pancreatitis (spelling here?) or liver disease. Oh, and that they want to run more blood tests, do x-rays and give him another antibiotic. I okayed the antibiotic and the next blood test. I figured that was enough money until I have a chance to actually talk to the vet and not the cute girl who answer the phone and can't answer a question without asking someone.

Tomorrow I will pick up the antibiotic and do so question asking in person tomorrow. From what I could learn online both of these conditions can be treated with drugs and bland diet if caught early enough. I figure the longest he could have been sick is a few days before Sunday. And actually on Saturday L & B were playing with him and he seemed perfectly fine. The obvious symptoms seemed to have shown up on Sunday. Except maybe the "pile" thing, that could be a couple of days longer.

And do you know how hard to it is to tell how much a dog who doesn't eat much to begin with is actually eating? They asked when the last time he eat was, and I can only remember filling the bowl on either Thursday or Friday. He has this thing where he just eats a few bites at a time, so it doesn't matter if I fill the bowl or just put a cup or two in, I might not have to put food in the next day, because the dog just doesn't eat much. It freaks people out when they dog sit for me. He will go 3 - 4 days without appearing to have eaten a bite and then the minute I walk in the door, he eats. He has done this since the day I got him.

Okay, I'm rambling now. I am going to go and check on my buddy, give him his meds and then watch "Must Love Dogs". Ironic timing for that to be on the Netflix list.

I DID IT!!!!!

I reached my Avon walk goal, and have infact exceeded what I wanted to do. I am so excited to have raised so much money to help such a wonderful cause. Perhaps 0ne day no one will have to hear the words "You have breast cancer."

If you are interested in donating to my walk fund, please go to www.avonwalk.org. My participant number is 661411, if you click on donate you should be able to find my participant page with the number. If you want to donate, but don't like to do things like that on line, let me know and I can send you the paperwork to write a check.

If you chose to donate, THANK YOU!!!! You will be helping so many people. The money doesn't just go to research, it also helps those who are underserved and don't have insurance to cover the costs.

Once again, let's thank the efforts of all who make this their charity and cause of choice. It really does make a difference.

The close of a year

Last night was the first ever Drama Banquet for my school. This is a big deal because the drama department had started to become an after thought for most of the kids at the school before last year when I started there. The fact that I have been able to get kids fired about about theatre in two years is just way cool.

Anyway, we had our banquet, it was small, under 40 people, but boy did we have a good time. I MCed the entire thing, because it was a first and I didn't want to try to train kids how to MC a banquet before the event. Now, keep in mind, I am a silly person not necessarily a funny person, so this must have been torture for some people, but they were kind and laughed with me (maybe they were laughing at me later, but at least not in front of me). We gave 7 awards, best actor and actress in each show, best cameo performances in the musical, tech awards and of course a Spirit of Drama award (more on that one), and of course everyone got an achievement award. We didn't want anyone to go home empty handed, we even gave one to the little blonde girl who until she asked if she could come I didn't know even though she eats lunch in my class everyday with the drama kids. Everyone had a great time.

Most of the awards are pretty self explanatory, but the Spirit of Drama, this is an award I created at my last school. Sometimes you have a kid who just completely embodies what being a part of the drama program is about. They are positive, always have something great to say to people, may not be involved with a show, but wants everyone to know what a good job they are doing and supports every one and every thing. They strive to build up people, not break people's spirit. They can find the good in every performance. That is what being a part of my drama department should be. I actually wish I could have given every kid in that room a Spirit of Drama award. This is one of the sweetest groups of teenagers I have ever worked with (and I have had some great kids over the years). They applauded everytime someone got their award, no one felt bad they didn't win, or at least they didn't act like it, these kids even clapped when people arrived and ran to give people hugs and make them feel excited to be at their banquet.

I even received a couple end of the year gifts, one student made me poster with pictures from the musical and said everyone needed to sign it. Another student and his mom made me a scrapbook page of the musical and mounted it on black art board and had a gold pen for every to sign the board. I don't exactly know what to do with these things (probably put them up in my class, maybe it will become a tradition) but I love them just the same. These kids have really treated me well.

I love these kids so much. Last night I was truly reminded of why I love to teach drama and why it would it be so different if I only taught English. In two years I have watched some of these kids go from painfully shy to really coming into their own. Some of those shy kids have become my biggest talents. Their personalities have really begun to shine and I am so incredibly proud of each and every one of them. I like to think that I have had a hand in helping these kids find the strength in themselves to be who they are and to know that they are great.

I'M DONE!

Not literally, I still have 9 days to go...but mentally I am done, I am on the brink of drop kicking a student out the door. It's a very sad state of things. I love my job, I love my school, I am fed up with the kids. I think it's the question "What can I do to bring up my grade?" How about the novel concept of YOUR WORK!!!!!!

I was just thinking...

in today's overly politically correct society why is it still okay to make fun of blondes? I was watching TV this morning and saw the new Philly Cream Cheese commercial, the one with the angels and they accidently mix their Philly and Jam together (like the old "You got peanut butter on my chocolate...You got chocolate in my peanut butter"). Apparently this is a good idea, to have jam in the cream cheese, and the blonde angel wonders where they came up with the idea at the end of the commercial. This gets a "look" from the brunette angel.

If this used any other race of people as the stupid one everyone would be up in arms and going all crazy...but put a blonde in the idiot role and you have a good thing. I just don't get it.

As a blonde I am not offended, I just don't get it.

And Counting...

13 days of school

36 days until I leave for China

And the curtain closes...

It is finally over...Charlie Brown closed last night. Even with the difficulties I had with the VD the show came off beautifully. I am so proud of my babies (not a senior in the bunch). They did a great job.

We were adjudicated last night for what is the equivalent of the Tony Awards for high school musicals. And the judges seemed to really like the show. That makes me really happy. Although my school is over 100 years old and used to have a huge, thriving theatre program they have never been involved with this awards program. So I was very happy to hear such good things from the judges, especially with such a young cast.

My Snoopy, who is just amazing, her mom doesn't like her doing theatre. Well, much to our surprise, mom was very proud of Snoopy, and even shed a few tears. That's one of the things I love about my job. When family finds out something about their kid that only I knew up until the show opened. Hopefully this experience will allow this girl to audition again next year (mom had previously said no more shows).

So, now I say farewell to Charlie Brown and move on to the next adventure...The Crucible maybe?

Ten Things

10 Things I love About Opening Night...

10. The kids are all amped and excited.
9. Everything is ready...no more sets to build, props to buy or costumes to make.
8. I finally get reimbursed for all monies spent.
7. The air in my classroom is electric.
6. Baby socks...a tradition I started with the first play I ever directed, everyone gets a baby sock on opening night because nothing bad can happen when you have something so cute with you.
5. Telling parents how wonderful I think their kids are.
4. The look on some parents faces when I tell them how wonderful their kids are.
3. Tech kids getting as excited as the actors.
2. The Hugs...I get lots of great kid hugs on opening night.
and the number 1 thing I love about opening night...

The look on the kids faces during curtain call. They have never looked prouder of themselves than they do at that moment. That is the moment I live for.

The saga continues...

Show opens on Thursday, VD left rehearsal today at 6:30ish. This is the same man who wants me to put "Performing Arts Department" on all the stuff associated with the show. So, right now he and I are both playing the passive aggressive card (it's really not working for either of us). He wants "PAD" on stuff, I figure when he starts to take on more responsibility for the show, then I will change what I do. But I guess I should tell him that.

Most of the kids are on my side. I have talked to the principal, I went seeking advice and somehow it has turned in to him talking to the VD....which has me a little scared. I need to learn to deal with this stuff myself. Maybe I will tell the principal to not do it.

ARGH....someone give me some moxie! Please!!!!!

This and that...

Why is it that after you pay upwards of $50.00 to attend an event you still have to pay to park your car? I wondered this as I forked out $8.00 to let my car sit for two hours in a parking structure. It just makes the mind reel...the structure has been there for years, there are performances at the theatre almost every day for the entire year, it has to be paid for by now. The attendants don't really need to be in there, they don't direct traffic anyway. WHY AM I PAYING TO LET MY CAR SIT SOMEPLACE. Could someone please explain this concept to me.

I went to my first ballet last night. Sylvia performed by American Ballet Theatre. It was really good. I enjoy watching the amazing talents. If you have never been to the ballet and like stuff like that I recommend it. The strength these performers have is amazing.

On the opposite end of the spectrum I am going to a hockey game today. It's playoff season and a really good friend of mine, L, is a huge Ducks fan (I prefer the Kings myself), so I have found myself attending Ducks games during the playoffs. It's great fun and you get to see some great hockey.

The play opens in less than two weeks. I don't have all my costumes because I am waiting for them to come in from another school. I will call that teacher today to make sure I can get them on Monday, I don't want that last minute scramble. The rest of this weekend has been spend painting baseball hats to look like they are hand drawn, buying props and layin out the program. Ah, the joys of being a high school theatre teacher.